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Casual Articles - Spasms & Spamocidal Mania
Marketing is a matter of getting, and staying, on clients’ radar screens. Even people to whom you have delivered quality service forget about their favorite consultants or colleagues when caught up in their day-to-day bustle—which might include you.That’s why you need to find ways to get (or get back) on the radar screen. One way is to make maximum use of your business card.
Don't think so.
I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven.
But spam... hooboy!
SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS!
I believe we should have a constitutional amendment a
For the success of any website in the online world it is very important that the website gets lots of web traffic. Generating web traffic is not enough. You need to get quality traffic. It is important that the people who are included in your target market should visit your web site. The more people visit your website, the chances of increase in the volume of your business will als
S.H.U. (Spam-Haters Unanimous)
N.A.A.P.W.H.S. (National Association for the Advancement of People Who Hate Spam)
P.W.H.P.W.D.H.S. (People Who Hate People Who Don't Hate Spam)
P.F.W.S.H.I.A.L.C. (People for Whom Spam-Hating is a Lifestyle Choice)
S.A.P.W.R.R.R.H.S. (Society for the Advancement of People Who Really Really Really Hate Spam)
P.W.H.S.S.M.I.M.L.W.S.C.O.T.E. (People Who Hate Spam So Much It Makes Little Wisps of Steam Come Out of Their Ears)
And, of course: Spam Haters In The Business of Internet Resource Directory Services.
DEAR FELLOW SPAM HATERS,
I'm writing to suggest that we combine forces in order to present a common front in our righteous war on unsolicited commercial email:
Spam!
I suggest we disband the myriad sites and organizations now opposing unsolicited commercial email in order to form a single, unified organization:
The Spammish Inquisition!
And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our Grand Inquisatrix!
WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS?
You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is!
I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much!
If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that?
Don't think so.
I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven.
But spam... hooboy!
SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS!
I believe we should have a constitutional amendment al
The advantages of Six Sigma do not exactly lie in huge cost benefits that can be realized by its implementation. The glaring examples of many corporations having saved billions of dollars are true benefits but the intangible results, such as having met the expectations of customers, and being able to improve employee relations are also paramount. Because some corporations have expe
P.W.H.S.S.M.I.M.L.W.S.C.O.T.E. (People Who Hate Spam So Much It Makes Little Wisps of Steam Come Out of Their Ears)
And, of course: Spam Haters In The Business of Internet Resource Directory Services.
DEAR FELLOW SPAM HATERS,
I'm writing to suggest that we combine forces in order to present a common front in our righteous war on unsolicited commercial email:
Spam!
I suggest we disband the myriad sites and organizations now opposing unsolicited commercial email in order to form a single, unified organization:
The Spammish Inquisition!
And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our Grand Inquisatrix!
WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS?
You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is!
I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much!
If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that?
Don't think so.
I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven.
But spam... hooboy!
SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS!
I believe we should have a constitutional amendment a
The world of internet has seen virtually (literally) an explosion in the field of forums. You just have to type in the word forums with any combination in the search engines you like and see the result for yourself. There would be thousands and thousands of results for every search for Online Business Forums or for Network Marketing Forums. Forums are a common ground for people fro
I'm writing to suggest that we combine forces in order to present a common front in our righteous war on unsolicited commercial email:
Spam!
I suggest we disband the myriad sites and organizations now opposing unsolicited commercial email in order to form a single, unified organization:
The Spammish Inquisition!
And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our Grand Inquisatrix!
WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS?
You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is!
I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much!
If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that?
Don't think so.
I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven.
But spam... hooboy!
SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS!
I believe we should have a constitutional amendment a
The senior flight attendant on the WestJet flight was starting the routine safety talk: the bit about flotation vests and emergency exits that we ignore at the beginning of every flight.“If we could have your attention, please, we would appreciate it - in fact we’d be downright shocked,” she said. The passengers and the rest of the crew laughed along with her and then, havin
And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our Grand Inquisatrix!
WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS?
You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is!
I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much!
If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that?
Don't think so.
I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven.
But spam... hooboy!
SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS!
I believe we should have a constitutional amendment a
You’ve gone through the steps of setting up your business, getting all your licenses and insurance in place and you’ve designed your site or hired someone to design it for you…. Now, how do you get people to your site or to choose your site over one of the millions of others out there?An effective working website is the most cost-effective advertising, marketing, information
Don't think so.
I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven.
But spam... hooboy!
SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS!
I believe we should have a constitutional amendment allowing cruel and unusual punishment in the case of spammers. Maybe that tummy thing like the Japanese do when they get depressed.
As with drugs, mere possession of bulk emailing software should result in the immediate confiscation of the computer it was on, as well as any nice clothes, jewelry, or lawn statuary that might have been purchased with spam profits.
Just thinking about sending spam should be illegal, like joking about bombs in an airport. If I get to be Grand Inquisatrix, I'll have my own force of men-in-black dudes to sniff out spamsters and be really mean to them and call them names until they promise to be good little netizens again.
It's for their own good.
IN CLOSING...
Having looked at the websites of some of the anti-spam crusaders, I know that I am not alone in my revulsion, disgust and utter skin-crawling contempt for spam.
Like them, I have turned a blind-eye to more mundane problems like hunger, illiteracy, disease, country music and poverty so as to focus on the true menace ravaging our cyber-society.
If you wish to support my crusade, you may do so by sending me $99, and as a free gift I'll send you a CD with the email addresses of 40 million netizens eagerly awaiting news of your latest product or service.
Linda Cox, G.I.W. (Grand Inquisatrix Wannabe)
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