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You are here: Home > Business > Workplace Communication > We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations |
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Casual Articles - We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations
Franchising Pros And Cons look at your “backstory,” as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but you’ll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you.You have decided to buy a franchise. Which one will you choose? There are so many out there. Are you going to go for a coffee shop or fast food outlet? What about an internet business, printing company or stationary?There are distinct advantages in buying a franchise over starting your own business from scratch. The greatest advantage is that most franchises are still trading after 3 years whereas most new start ups have ceased trading.What is a franchise?With a franchise you benefit from a proven business model and the experience of a larger organisation. You have to pay a franchise fee and a license fee to the franchisor to have the right to run their business model.In the UK companies like McDonalds, Prontaprint & KFC made franchising very popular in the 70s. Now you can find an outlet in nearly every town & city in the UK. Franchising is now one of the fastest growing areas of business in the UK.Let's examine the pros and cons of franchisingThe advantages are:1) You receive full training in the operation of your business 2) You are not reinventing the wheel 3) You receive support from the franchisor when you encount 4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it? If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try t Great CV Tips - The Fab 50 Think of a conversation you’ve been putting off. Got it? Great. Then let’s go.1. To heighten your chances of success, your CV needs to attract the reader’s attention in the first 20 – 30 seconds. Ensure you create the right first impression with your CV, first impressions last.2. Ensure your sentences and paragraphs are short and to the point.3. Develop your CV as part of a holistic approach to the job search.4. Keep the CV to two pages – maximum (personnel staff have lots of CV’s to read).5. Make sure you choose the appropriate CV format – Performance CV, Targeted CV or Functional CV.6. Never use two words when one will do, being concise is the best advice. 7. Make sure your key skill areas are presented on the first page (if there is nothing of interest on the first page, why will personnel staff read on?)8. Ensure your Curriculum Vitae, once translated means `the story of your life’. Do ensure you give a good account of yourself.9. CV is interesting by using `action’ words, e.g. facilitated, organised, created, innovative, accountable etc.10. Sell your strengths first and then add your career and personal details.11. Create an attention grabbing profile.12. Embolden your profile so There are dozens of books on the topic of difficult, crucial, challenging, important (you get the idea) conversations (I list several at the end of this article). Those times when you know you should talk to someone, but you don’t. Maybe you’ve tried and it went badly. Or maybe you fear that talking will only make the situation worse. Still, there’s a feeling of being stuck, and you’d like to free up that stuck energy for more useful purposes. What you have here is a brief synopsis of best practice strategies: a checklist of action items to think about before going into the conversation; some useful concepts to practice during the conversation; and some tips and suggestions to help your energy stay focused and flowing, including possible conversation openings. You’ll notice one key theme throughout: you have more power than you think. Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions: 1. What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome? Watch for hidden purposes. You may think you have honorable goals, like educating an employee or increasing connection with your teen, only to notice that your language is excessively critical or condescending. You think you want to support, but you end up punishing. Some purposes are more useful than others. Work on yourself so that you enter the conversation with a supportive purpose. 2. What assumptions are you making about this person’s intentions? You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that this was the speaker's intention. Impact does not necessarily equal intent. 3. What “buttons” of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Take a look at your “backstory,” as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but you’ll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you. 4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it? If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try to Coaching Your Business To The Next Level Series Part 6 - Invest in Your People ergy for more useful purposes.Many companies say their people are number one. Yet, looking at the surveys and the actual dollars spent in training and development ($1,500 nationally per person in late 1990's), there appears to be a gap between the desire and reality.Invest In Your PeopleMistake: Spending dollars on things such as technology and not people. People make the business. They create the loyal customers or disloyal ones. Employees don’t come to work thinking how they can mess up the company. Invest in people development and watch your investment quickly multiply.People development is critical now more than ever given that we are in a knowledge base economy. This new economy has created new rules. Employees need to manage their freedom by making decisions that will be beneficial to all stakeholders. Micro-management is a thing of the past!Many employees are promoted from within and that is a good thing. However, the reasons for their promotion were because they were probably the superworkers. Yet, in their new capacity as supervisor or manager will they use their job specific skills or will they need new interpersonal sk What you have here is a brief synopsis of best practice strategies: a checklist of action items to think about before going into the conversation; some useful concepts to practice during the conversation; and some tips and suggestions to help your energy stay focused and flowing, including possible conversation openings. You’ll notice one key theme throughout: you have more power than you think. Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions: 1. What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome? Watch for hidden purposes. You may think you have honorable goals, like educating an employee or increasing connection with your teen, only to notice that your language is excessively critical or condescending. You think you want to support, but you end up punishing. Some purposes are more useful than others. Work on yourself so that you enter the conversation with a supportive purpose. 2. What assumptions are you making about this person’s intentions? You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that this was the speaker's intention. Impact does not necessarily equal intent. 3. What “buttons” of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Take a look at your “backstory,” as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but you’ll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you. 4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it? If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try t Quiz - What Kind of Entrepreneur Are You? ConversationA few months ago a strategic planning exercise led me to ask about the kinds of technology entrepreneurs that I have encountered in the marketplace. Since then, I've done some research into typologies that help with understanding ourselves and others. After I describe my eight entrepreneurial types, I include some quick references into this type of research.My work focuses on helping Entrepreneurs to build and grow their businesses, especially those dealing with software, internet or e-Commerce related businesses. If you were an entrepreneur I worked with, I'd first want to understand you from the perspective of your deepest motivations for your business. This knowledge helps me to answer important questions like:* How do you define success?* What are your business biases?* How will others in the entrepreneurial eco-system perceive you?* What are some prescriptions for filling gaps you may have? Following is a quiz that highlights some of the key elements of the different "entrepreneur archetypes" that I've encountered. What kind are you?Answer the questions under each type and see which one(s) resonate most deeply wi Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions: 1. What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome? Watch for hidden purposes. You may think you have honorable goals, like educating an employee or increasing connection with your teen, only to notice that your language is excessively critical or condescending. You think you want to support, but you end up punishing. Some purposes are more useful than others. Work on yourself so that you enter the conversation with a supportive purpose. 2. What assumptions are you making about this person’s intentions? You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that this was the speaker's intention. Impact does not necessarily equal intent. 3. What “buttons” of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Take a look at your “backstory,” as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but you’ll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you. 4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it? If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try t Paper Gowns Will Be Provided purposes are more useful than others. Work on yourself so that you enter the conversation with a supportive purpose.Time and time again I meet business owners with a wicked sense of humor, sarcastic wit and language that could make even a trucker blush. Yet, the small business community is riddled with boring, uncreative, overly politically correct marketing collateral that lacks personality or worse fails to speak to a target market.How could such a contrast exist in a hot bed of creative, forward thinking individuals who have broken free from the shackles of the corporate world to pursue the very essence of the American Dream?There is a syndrome among small business owners that I like to call “I need to appeal to everyone, not offend anyone syndrome.” It’s a debilitating condition which makes business owners believe anyone, everyone and someone might purchase their product or service. As a result, their business image grazes over the heads of the masses and lacks the ingenuity to lock eyes with their ideal client.You could be suffering from this condition and not even know it. It is highly contagious and those afflicted with the syndrome often validate, speculate and contemplate marketing among themselves without the care of a professional, thus perpetuating the spread of 2. What assumptions are you making about this person’s intentions? You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that this was the speaker's intention. Impact does not necessarily equal intent. 3. What “buttons” of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Take a look at your “backstory,” as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but you’ll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you. 4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it? If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try t Selling Experience, How Would You Describe Yours? look at your “backstory,” as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but you’ll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you.When most people, regardless of their profession, refer to their experience level they generally tell you how long they have been in the particular field. They will state that they have, as an example, three years or twenty years of experience, but is this an accurate way to describe their level of expertise? I think it is a very poor way actually and here's why.I've seen salespeople in the business for a year, perform as well as others with twenty years 'experience'. The reason is fairly simple. The fact is that they both had only one year of 'experience'. The rookie had one year's worth while the veteran had one year's worth repeated twenty times.Now you might be thinking that this concept is absurd but consider this. If the veteran salesperson entered the profession with an eager passion and learns all he or she can within that first year, then had a measure of success, the learning curve often flattens out. People tend to become complacent following some level of success.When complacency sets in, people will fail to learn from their new experiences. This means they will make the same mistakes over and over again, year in and year o 4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it? If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try to adjust your attitude for maximum effectiveness. 5. Who is the opponent? What might he be thinking about this situation? Is he aware of the problem? If so, how do you think he perceives it? What are his needs and fears? What solution do you think he would suggest? Begin to reframe the opponent as partner. 6. What are your needs and fears? Are there any common concerns? Could there be? 7. How have you contributed to the problem? How has the other person? The majority of the work in any conflict conversation is work you do on yourself. No matter how well the conversation begins, you’ll need to stay in charge of yourself, your purpose and your emotional energy. Breathe, center, and continue to notice when you become off center–and choose to return again. This is where your power lies. By choosing the calm, centered state, you’ll help your opponent/partner to be more centered, too. Centering is not a step; centering is how you are as you take the steps. (For more on Centering, see the Resource section at the end of the article.) Step #1: Inquiry Cultivate an attitude of discovery and curiosity. Pretend you don’t know anything (you really don’t), and try to learn as much as possible about your opponent/partner and his point of view. Pretend you’re entertaining a visitor from another planet, and find out how things look on that planet, how certain events affect the other person, and what the values and priorities are there. If your partner really was from another planet, you’d be watching his body language and listening for unspoken energy as well. Do that here. What does he really want? What is he not saying? Let your partner talk until he is finished. Don’t interrupt except to acknowledge. Whatever you hear, don’t take it personally. It’s not really about you. Try to learn as much as you can in this phase of the conversation. You’ll get your t
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