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  • Casual Articles - Working for Corporate Aliens

    Why Half of All Mergers Fail After the Honeymoon Ends
    Marriages and corporate mergers in America have at least one thing in common, more than 50 percent end up on the rocks. In fact, according to a McKinsey study, only 23 percent ever recover the costs of walking down the corporate aisle. Another study showed that over 40 percent actually lose shareholder value.These statistics should quell the corporate urge to merge, but, like young lovers, logic seldom gets in the way of romance.A merger between families illustrates the difficulty of creating an ideal marriage. Two single parents, each with their own children, pets, and old habits, decide to marry and join their families into one.Because mom and dad are so in love,
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    While working with aliens, learn how to have fun with memos and e-mail. The lifeblood of the modern corporation is e-mail. This is what aliens call "communication." Even corporate janitors are required to have e-mail. So be it. Learn to use it effectively, get some laughs, and preserve your

    How To Evaluate A Network Marketing Company With A Simple Formula
    Randy Gage, checked out hundreds of companies before coming out of retirement and choosing his next vehicle for building wealth. As an experienced Network Marketer I was relieved to finally find a simple formula to explain to prospects, and to understand myself, how to spot a company that is poised for major growth and success. If you’re in the industry already, perhaps you’d like to check out how your company measures up to the formula. (Perhaps not!) As I have often heard it said, it is as important to know where you are, as it is to know where you are not… For those of you who are looking at fresh opportunities – this is especially for you. Finding a good Home Based Business can b
    Most of us are probably making a living working for a corporate alien already. After a few months of alien rambling about the "bottom line," some of us begin to feel like we should look for employment elsewhere. Remember that the world is becoming an alien corporation and no matter where you go, you'll probably face a similar situation. So instead of sending out that resume (unless you expect to get a job with a lot more money), draw the line and make a stand. You can actually enjoy work a lot more if you fearlessly face the enemy.

    The biggest effect aliens have is the unusual amount of pressure (most of it psychological) they put on their employees, so that the health of the employees suffer. If you take them very seriously, you will ruin your health. To preserve your physical well being in a corporate environment you should:

    • Exercise before coming to work.
    • Meditate fifteen minutes daily.
    • Take antioxidant vitamins.
    • Read Dilbert.
    • Laugh at the idiot aliens instead of taking them seriously.
    • Avoid drugs and alcohol - Be clear headed even though your bosses may not be.
    • Put your boss' face on a punching bag and use it daily.

    While working with aliens, learn how to have fun with memos and e-mail. The lifeblood of the modern corporation is e-mail. This is what aliens call "communication." Even corporate janitors are required to have e-mail. So be it. Learn to use it effectively, get some laughs, and preserve your

    The X Factor In Sales Success
    Do you know how to apply the power of the X factor? The X factor in sales is simple multiplication of events and sales strategies that lead to sales. If business or salespeople apply this simple equation, they are released from the limits of time and energy.The power of X in mathematics takes advantage of multiplication. In computers, we use the X to signify the multiplication of something. In sales, we can apply the same power when we multiply our efforts instead of simply adding single efforts over and over again. The difference between addition and multiplication is the difference between success and mediocre results. Successful sales professionals apply the power of mu
    ly face a similar situation. So instead of sending out that resume (unless you expect to get a job with a lot more money), draw the line and make a stand. You can actually enjoy work a lot more if you fearlessly face the enemy.

    The biggest effect aliens have is the unusual amount of pressure (most of it psychological) they put on their employees, so that the health of the employees suffer. If you take them very seriously, you will ruin your health. To preserve your physical well being in a corporate environment you should:

    • Exercise before coming to work.
    • Meditate fifteen minutes daily.
    • Take antioxidant vitamins.
    • Read Dilbert.
    • Laugh at the idiot aliens instead of taking them seriously.
    • Avoid drugs and alcohol - Be clear headed even though your bosses may not be.
    • Put your boss' face on a punching bag and use it daily.

    While working with aliens, learn how to have fun with memos and e-mail. The lifeblood of the modern corporation is e-mail. This is what aliens call "communication." Even corporate janitors are required to have e-mail. So be it. Learn to use it effectively, get some laughs, and preserve your

    Lying Supervisors and the Source of the Problem
    What do you do when your supervisor's interest in the truth takes a backseat to her interest in saving her own neck? If a situation comes up where somebody has to be sacrificed because a mistake was made, she won't hesitate to throw you to the wolves. So what can you do here? Let's look at the options.I'm sure part of you is sorely tempted to talk to her about her lying. You'd love to tell her, for example, that she did not assign you that job that didn't get done, and you'd love to tell her that you'd appreciate her not blaming you for mistakes that are her fault. That sounds like such a reasonable response on your part, doesn't it? But take a good loo
    psychological) they put on their employees, so that the health of the employees suffer. If you take them very seriously, you will ruin your health. To preserve your physical well being in a corporate environment you should:

    • Exercise before coming to work.
    • Meditate fifteen minutes daily.
    • Take antioxidant vitamins.
    • Read Dilbert.
    • Laugh at the idiot aliens instead of taking them seriously.
    • Avoid drugs and alcohol - Be clear headed even though your bosses may not be.
    • Put your boss' face on a punching bag and use it daily.

    While working with aliens, learn how to have fun with memos and e-mail. The lifeblood of the modern corporation is e-mail. This is what aliens call "communication." Even corporate janitors are required to have e-mail. So be it. Learn to use it effectively, get some laughs, and preserve your

    Changes in Fire Safety Legislation
    Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order 2005Current fire safety Laws detail employers and others' with responsibilities for people's safety if there is an out break of fire. At present there are various pieces of legislation that contain fire safety provisions, which makes it difficult for people to know what is applicable to them and their business in respect of complying with the Law.As part of the Governments' commitment to reduce death, injury and damage caused by fire, the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister (ODPM) has now implemented changes in fire safety Law. Existing fire safety Law will be repealed or revoked and be replaced with the Regulatory Reform (Fire
    utes daily.
  • Take antioxidant vitamins.
  • Read Dilbert.
  • Laugh at the idiot aliens instead of taking them seriously.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol - Be clear headed even though your bosses may not be.
  • Put your boss' face on a punching bag and use it daily.
  • While working with aliens, learn how to have fun with memos and e-mail. The lifeblood of the modern corporation is e-mail. This is what aliens call "communication." Even corporate janitors are required to have e-mail. So be it. Learn to use it effectively, get some laughs, and preserve your

    Do You Have A Business Mindset?
    In order to build the right infrastructure, you must think strategically – that’s having a business mindset. Before you make any decisions in business think about the outcome on all levels; here are seven examples of having a business mindset:1. Having a business mindset is knowing that the purpose of business is to make money. Sometimes your hobby is just a hobby. Either you’re going to have a hobby that makes you a little extra money or you’re going to have a business that requires a higher level of development in order to acquire a higher level of income.2. Having a business mindset means thinking for yourself vs. letting other people think for you. Don’t allow th
    ul>

    While working with aliens, learn how to have fun with memos and e-mail. The lifeblood of the modern corporation is e-mail. This is what aliens call "communication." Even corporate janitors are required to have e-mail. So be it. Learn to use it effectively, get some laughs, and preserve your health. When they push you for results on something stupid, write a polite e-mail asking them to clarify a few things that you don't understand. Tell them that without their input, you are confused and cannot perform the task adequately. That always catches them off guard, and takes considerable time before they reply.

    What they consider as productivity is directly proportional to the number of e-mails and memos you write. They will promote someone who does nothing but write e-mails and memos all day over someone who does an excellent job but has no time to document his or her efforts.

    When you succeed praise yourself by sending an e-mail or memo to your boss and other interested parties. This is documentation that you are doing a good job. If you don't do this, no one else will record what you have done. Aliens have a tendency to only document your mistakes.

    Keep all documentation relating to any corporate alien screw ups. If they try to blame you, write an e-mail to try to shift the blame back to them.

    Consider getting a small voice recorder and take it regularly and secretly to meetings. Actions of some bosses behind closed doors can be quite revealing. If nothing else, it can provide material for

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