You talk about something positive the person has done, put the "area for development" in the middle, and finish with a positive.

I found that most people were left feeling good about themselves and keen to learn from their mistakes.

Of course, we should all be big enough to take a bit of criticism on the chin no matter how it's dished up but like most pe

In my last article I talked about the way communication is split into three sections, the words, the way they're said, and body language, and quoted Professor Albert Mehrabian's figures and findings.

Well, talk about disturbing a hornet's nest. I posted to a large networking website and was roundly criticised for getting the Prof's rules wrong.

This is what he said "Please note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable."

So, I think what I said probably needed a qualifier to make sure it was correct, but instead of acknowledging that, I got myself embroiled in a fairly heated debate which involved other people joining in on one side or the other.

What did happen was loads of people had a look at the post, so that was pretty good from my point of view, but it brings me around to the subject of giving feedback.

Isn't it funny when you tell someone they've got something wrong and they don't thank you for it?

One of the things I've done since becoming a Coach is train people to be Coaches which has involved a large element of mentoring and giving feedback.

I was told early on in my coaching career that the best way of doing this was called an O'Brien sandwich. You talk about something positive the person has done, put the "area for development" in the middle, and finish with a positive.

I found that most people were left feeling good about themselves and keen to learn from their mistakes.

Of course, we should all be big enough to take a bit of criticism on the chin no matter how it's dished up but like most pe

at he said "Please note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable."

So, I think what I said probably needed a qualifier to make sure it was correct, but instead of acknowledging that, I got myself embroiled in a fairly heated debate which involved other people joining in on one side or the other.

What did happen was loads of people had a look at the post, so that was pretty good from my point of view, but it brings me around to the subject of giving feedback.

Isn't it funny when you tell someone they've got something wrong and they don't thank you for it?

One of the things I've done since becoming a Coach is train people to be Coaches which has involved a large element of mentoring and giving feedback.

I was told early on in my coaching career that the best way of doing this was called an O'Brien sandwich. You talk about something positive the person has done, put the "area for development" in the middle, and finish with a positive.

I found that most people were left feeling good about themselves and keen to learn from their mistakes.

Of course, we should all be big enough to take a bit of criticism on the chin no matter how it's dished up but like most pe

eded a qualifier to make sure it was correct, but instead of acknowledging that, I got myself embroiled in a fairly heated debate which involved other people joining in on one side or the other.

What did happen was loads of people had a look at the post, so that was pretty good from my point of view, but it brings me around to the subject of giving feedback.

Isn't it funny when you tell someone they've got something wrong and they don't thank you for it?

One of the things I've done since becoming a Coach is train people to be Coaches which has involved a large element of mentoring and giving feedback.

I was told early on in my coaching career that the best way of doing this was called an O'Brien sandwich. You talk about something positive the person has done, put the "area for development" in the middle, and finish with a positive.

I found that most people were left feeling good about themselves and keen to learn from their mistakes.

Of course, we should all be big enough to take a bit of criticism on the chin no matter how it's dished up but like most pe

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Isn't it funny when you tell someone they've got something wrong and they don't thank you for it?

One of the things I've done since becoming a Coach is train people to be Coaches which has involved a large element of mentoring and giving feedback.

I was told early on in my coaching career that the best way of doing this was called an O'Brien sandwich. You talk about something positive the person has done, put the "area for development" in the middle, and finish with a positive.

I found that most people were left feeling good about themselves and keen to learn from their mistakes.

Of course, we should all be big enough to take a bit of criticism on the chin no matter how it's dished up but like most pe

You talk about something positive the person has done, put the "area for development" in the middle, and finish with a positive.

I found that most people were left feeling good about themselves and keen to learn from their mistakes.

Of course, we should all be big enough to take a bit of criticism on the chin no matter how it's dished up but like most people, I guess I respond best when I don't feel under attack!

So, I guess this is a reminder that when you need to give someone the benefit of your wisdom and you want them to thank you, just think about how you're going to do it first, otherwise you could be disappointed with their response.