Casual Articles
#1 in Business Subscribe Email Print

You are here: Home > Arts and Entertainment > Humor > The Tax Man Cometh

Tags

  • medical
  • audited
  • dread
  • capital gains
  • americans audited

  • Links

  • Buying Printer Ink
  • Spend Lavishly And Make Your Marriage A Special Affair
  • Writing For The Web: How Good Copy Becomes Bad Marketing
  • Casual Articles - The Tax Man Cometh

    Exercise for Middle Age Folks
    “Regular physical activity provides greater protection from disease and disability than anything medical science has to offer. If exercise was a pill, it would be the most widely prescribed drug with the most varied benefits upon all aspects of health.” --Dr. Walter Bortz, Stanford Medical SchoolIf you don’t make the time for physical activity you will be making time for sickness and disease. Dottie Drake, R.N. has created an exercise program geared specifically for folks over 40. It’s called The Miracles Program and it’s amazingly simple. Dottie doesn’t offer an elaborate diet plan. Rather, here is her philosophy about eating: don’t eat so
    !" I cry.

    "That doesn't matter, sir," the voice says. "You incorrectly calculated the accrued interest and long term capital gains from the sale of that certain property from the party of the first part to the party of the second part, which resulted in a $3.12 profit on your part that was not reported to the IRS on forum 1099FU. The

    Online Marketing Don'ts
    There are over 200 million people worldwide connected to the Internet, with over 64 million regular users in America. It’s no wonder that such a vast audience has made online marketing one of the fastest growing industries in the world. However, half the trick of conducing successful ecommerce is finding a way to get people to your site in the first place—hence online advertising.Internet advertising generated an astounding $1.92 billion in 1999, double from the amount generated in the previous year.According to the Association of National Advertisers, nearly half of all American companies are selling online. The American City Business
    Someone once said that there are only two things in life that are certain: death and taxes. I would argue that death and taxes are really one and the same, the only difference being that death can only claim you once, while taxes can kill you every year.

    I die a slow death every April 15th. I'd rather go on a one-way tour of the wreckage of the Titanic in a minisub that has a slow leak than do my taxes. Even if my mother-in-law was at the wheel and my rear end was on fire, I'd still rather take that ride than to try and muddle through the latest assortment of forms and attachments from the IRS. (I'm warning you, you're going to need Indiana Jones to decypher all the new tax code). I'm especially wary of the IRS this year because it was recently reported that the majority of Americans audited in the last few years have been poor, white southerners. Like tornadoes, it seems living in a trailer home attracts the Tax Man, too.

    My dread of tax season stems from the belief that no matter what I do, no matter how honest I try to be (and I really do try to be honest), I will somehow end up owing the government a gazillion dollars more than I actually earned. I have my own little IRS representative in my head and she speaks to me whenever I get too near the edge of reportable sanity.

    "But I didn't even make a gazillion dollars last year!" I cry.

    "That doesn't matter, sir," the voice says. "You incorrectly calculated the accrued interest and long term capital gains from the sale of that certain property from the party of the first part to the party of the second part, which resulted in a $3.12 profit on your part that was not reported to the IRS on forum 1099FU. The

    Fruit Salad
    The origin of the fruit salad dates back to the 19th century, when it was included in many menus from different countries. A fruit salad is a dish comprised of a variety of fruits served with a base sauce or in their own syrup. A fruit salad is usually served as a dessert. It is also served as an appetizer called a fruit cocktail. When served as a fruit cocktail it is often prepared in an alcohol and sugar base.The fruits that form parts of a fruit salad vary from country to country. It is determined by the seasonal availability of the fruits and where they are grown. Fruit salads often include apples, pineapples, pears, cherries, grapes, kiwifr
    kage of the Titanic in a minisub that has a slow leak than do my taxes. Even if my mother-in-law was at the wheel and my rear end was on fire, I'd still rather take that ride than to try and muddle through the latest assortment of forms and attachments from the IRS. (I'm warning you, you're going to need Indiana Jones to decypher all the new tax code). I'm especially wary of the IRS this year because it was recently reported that the majority of Americans audited in the last few years have been poor, white southerners. Like tornadoes, it seems living in a trailer home attracts the Tax Man, too.

    My dread of tax season stems from the belief that no matter what I do, no matter how honest I try to be (and I really do try to be honest), I will somehow end up owing the government a gazillion dollars more than I actually earned. I have my own little IRS representative in my head and she speaks to me whenever I get too near the edge of reportable sanity.

    "But I didn't even make a gazillion dollars last year!" I cry.

    "That doesn't matter, sir," the voice says. "You incorrectly calculated the accrued interest and long term capital gains from the sale of that certain property from the party of the first part to the party of the second part, which resulted in a $3.12 profit on your part that was not reported to the IRS on forum 1099FU. The

    Market-Research Techniques
    Marketing research is necessary to determine what types of businesses have the potential to succeed, what area is right for your business, and are there enough potential customers to make your business economically viable. Most businesses use one or more of the following market research methods:1. Surveys. Using concise, straightforward questionnaires, you can analyze a sample group that represents your target market. The larger the sample, the more reliable the results. In-person surveys are one-on-one interviews typically conducted in high-traffic locations such as shopping malls. You can give people a sample of your product and gather imme
    w tax code). I'm especially wary of the IRS this year because it was recently reported that the majority of Americans audited in the last few years have been poor, white southerners. Like tornadoes, it seems living in a trailer home attracts the Tax Man, too.

    My dread of tax season stems from the belief that no matter what I do, no matter how honest I try to be (and I really do try to be honest), I will somehow end up owing the government a gazillion dollars more than I actually earned. I have my own little IRS representative in my head and she speaks to me whenever I get too near the edge of reportable sanity.

    "But I didn't even make a gazillion dollars last year!" I cry.

    "That doesn't matter, sir," the voice says. "You incorrectly calculated the accrued interest and long term capital gains from the sale of that certain property from the party of the first part to the party of the second part, which resulted in a $3.12 profit on your part that was not reported to the IRS on forum 1099FU. The

    How to Make a lot of Money on Stocks- Easy steps to follow and Real Results
    I have been trying to make money on stocks a couple of years and I have found out that if you follow sertan rules you may get the money that you have expected in a less risk than usual.I tried to buy stocks at these rules:-Atleast doubled in value and-Has going up fermly atleast for a 6 month of time-Had a good graph-I am selling the stock when it is going down for among 20%I buyed the stock below tandberg data at a price of 8nkr and I invested 1800Nkr ($277 at a $ price of 6,5)I sold the stock when it had going down from 22-18 Nkr.My sale price was 18Nkr but a weak before I sold out from the comp
    tter how honest I try to be (and I really do try to be honest), I will somehow end up owing the government a gazillion dollars more than I actually earned. I have my own little IRS representative in my head and she speaks to me whenever I get too near the edge of reportable sanity.

    "But I didn't even make a gazillion dollars last year!" I cry.

    "That doesn't matter, sir," the voice says. "You incorrectly calculated the accrued interest and long term capital gains from the sale of that certain property from the party of the first part to the party of the second part, which resulted in a $3.12 profit on your part that was not reported to the IRS on forum 1099FU. The

    The Five 'P's of Self-Employment
    The entrepreneur game is filled with an amazing variety of individuals. Laid-off workers, semi-retired individuals, inspired people with unbounded enthusiasm, and, oh yes, mothers too.I can speak in the first person about the hardship of self-employment; the daughter of a sign shop owner, I still get nostalgic at a whiff of turpentine or paint fumes; the wife of a persistent ‘start-up’ husband, I’ve stood by many, many businesses and contract jobs while my husband ventured his talents in fields as diverse as gutter sales, RESP representative and Capital finance consultant; and memorably, I recall selling small gift items with my mother at flea m
    !" I cry.

    "That doesn't matter, sir," the voice says. "You incorrectly calculated the accrued interest and long term capital gains from the sale of that certain property from the party of the first part to the party of the second part, which resulted in a $3.12 profit on your part that was not reported to the IRS on forum 1099FU. The penalty for not submitting the required form and the $3.12 to the IRS within the allotted amount of time is a gazillion dollars PLUS interest. Have a nice day."

    Then there's the question of exactly what qualifies as a dependent. This one always gets me because in my mind, if something depends on me for its existence and I have to take time out of my day to tend to it, it's a dependent.

    "I'm sorry, sir, even though it would probably die if you didn't feed it and give it water everyday, your dog does not qualify as a dependent."

    "What kind of logic is that? Do you have any idea how much I spend on that dog? Now I'm not so sad about letting all my plants die over the winter! With stupid rules like that it's no wonder people cheat on their taxes!"

    "Did you say something about cheating, sir?"

    "Me? Cheating? No, of course not. That wouldn't be right."

    Surveys (not conducted by the IRS) have shown that even the most honest, God-fearing Americans have thought about cheating on their taxes at one time or another. It's a natural reflex, like opening your mouth to breath when you're six fathoms underwater. In truth, I think God created taxes as the ultimate test of human faith.

    "Hmm," God thought one fine April day. "That apple thing was just too easy. How can I really test man's ability to resist temptation? I kno

    HTTP = HTML link (for blogs, profiles,phorums):
    <a href="http://www.casualarticles.com/article/402962/casualarticles-The-Tax-Man-Cometh.html">The Tax Man Cometh</a>

    BB link (for phorums):
    [url=http://www.casualarticles.com/article/402962/casualarticles-The-Tax-Man-Cometh.html]The Tax Man Cometh[/url]

    Related Articles:

    188+ step Hero's Journey (Monomyth) - Story Structure for Screenplays

    All About Hepatitis C

    Cutting Sugar Cuts Calories and Offers a Healthier Lifestyle

    Bookmark it: del.icio.us digg.com reddit.com netvouz.com google.com yahoo.com technorati.com furl.net bloglines.com socialdust.com ma.gnolia.com newsvine.com slashdot.org simpy.com shadows.com blinklist.com