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Casual Articles - Negotiating Ethically Is Not For Sissies
Imagine that for the past year you have been negotiating a huge deal with an overseas firm. On the day the deal will be finalized, your company’s big brass troops to the conference room. You are tickled pink that the deal will be completed using the teleconferencing service provider you just chose for the company. What's more, you saved a few bucks by picking a brand new start-up company!With everything and everyone posed to close the deal, what could possibly go wrong? The answer is everything! The teleconferencing monitor at the front of the room short circuits. It is engulfed in a cloud of smoke. The executives run out of the room in alarm. The next day, they call the deal off. You lose what could have been the biggest coup of your career, and all because you didn't carefully choose your company’s teleconferencing ser
If you think about it, most sharks are propelled by three basic drives - greed, self-centeredness, and an exaggerated ego. And any of those three drives makes them extremely vulnerable to a smart negotiator.
Roger Fisher and William Ury call this approach "negotiation jujitsu" in their book Getting to Yes. Jujitsu is a form of martial arts that focuses on deflecting attacks rather than engaging the enemy. If someone is running toward you aggressively, you don't stand your ground and hit back when they run into you. You step to the side and let them run past.
Defense Tactic 3. Call in a third-party arbitrator.
Rarely in my experience as a lawyer and a businessman have I ever had to call in a third-party arbitrator because the people I was negotiating with insisted on using less-than-honorable techniques. It almost neve
Anyone who is involved in any type of business should have business cards. It doesn’t matter if you sell things at craft shows or you are the CEO of a large company, you will need business cards. Custom business cards can be expensive and you often need to buy them in bulk. However, it is quite easy to make your own business cards. It can be an inexpensive way to produce professional business cards that you can be proud of.There are three main ways to make your own business cards. The first is to use a word processing program. They are included on most desktop and laptop computers. Some of the programs have business card templates built in, or you can create the cards in a word processing screen. You would need to purchase business card stock, and then print out the cards right from your home computer. Although this opti
First of all, being open and honest takes guts. It takes nerve basically to say to the people you're negotiating with, "I want to play fair. How about you?" or "This is what I want. How about you, and how can we both get what we want?" You're challenging them to meet you on your level, and you're asking them to focus on more than their individual needs. You can get some strange reactions because people aren't used to an open approach to negotiating. Some people don't want to negotiate that way, which brings me to a second reason ethical negotiations can be so challenging. Making sure that you don't get manipulated by someone who is not so honest takes savvy.
How to Avoid Being Manipulated
A difference in standards can cause serious problems when negotiating. Just because you follow all the principles I outline through Negotiate Like the Pros, that doesn't guarantee that everyone you negotiate with will be as mature and fair-minded as you are. (I know that once you've learned all my negotiating secrets, you're going to be mature and fair-minded, right?) You have to be prepared to run into less-than-honest bargainers, people who have their eye on the prize and have no qualms about running over you to get it.
These people have no interests in forging mutually beneficial agreements. They are only interested in what's good for them, and they don't mind abusing others to get it. They are the hardballers. They want to play rough. They don't care if there's such a thing as principled negotiating. They think they can get more by bullying the people they negotiate with. They believe they're stronger than their opponents and think they can walk away with the spoils if they go for the jugular vein.
Don't misunderstand me. Not every person you meet at the negotiating table is going to be an unscrupulous rogue. Some people don't share your high standards for negotiating because they don't know any better. Before reading this book, what were your attitudes toward negotiating? Did you see it as a "me-against-my-opponent" proposition? Did you feel like the only way you could win was for someone else to lose? Some people don't realize there's a better, easier way to negotiate.
I have a system for negotiating that can handle any of the problems that inevitably crop up when I'm with people from either group.
Defense Tactic 1: Maintain your standards.
If a person approaches negotiations aggressively out of ignorance, I can eventually win him or her over to my style. Most people don't want to be enemies. They just don't want to get ripped off. If you can demonstrate to them that you're interested in a fair deal, they will usually drop the aggressiveness routine and start to work with you.
Defense Tactic 2: Protect yourself by not fighting back directly.
When you meet with the people who don't want to play fair, you can protect yourself - and you don't have to resort to trickery or manipulation to do it.
If you think about it, most sharks are propelled by three basic drives - greed, self-centeredness, and an exaggerated ego. And any of those three drives makes them extremely vulnerable to a smart negotiator.
Roger Fisher and William Ury call this approach "negotiation jujitsu" in their book Getting to Yes. Jujitsu is a form of martial arts that focuses on deflecting attacks rather than engaging the enemy. If someone is running toward you aggressively, you don't stand your ground and hit back when they run into you. You step to the side and let them run past.
Defense Tactic 3. Call in a third-party arbitrator.
Rarely in my experience as a lawyer and a businessman have I ever had to call in a third-party arbitrator because the people I was negotiating with insisted on using less-than-honorable techniques. It almost neve
How many of you people are bored of your current career? Is the grind of working nine to five with the same people day in day out getting you down? Have you had enough of that long commute to the office and all of those traffic jams? If you have answered yes to any of these three questions it may well be the time to think of an alternative career. This is what I and many other people have done, I have managed to turn one of my hobbies into a career. In this article I will of course explain more.A couple of years ago I was on the way to work when for no apparant reason I became stuck in what I call non moving traffic. I phoned the office where I worked to let them know that I was likely to arrive slightly late. Do not worry commented my boss, you can make up the hours before you leave. This angered me some what, it was no
First of all, being open and honest takes guts. It takes nerve basically to say to the people you're negotiating with, "I want to play fair. How about you?" or "This is what I want. How about you, and how can we both get what we want?" You're challenging them to meet you on your level, and you're asking them to focus on more than their individual needs. You can get some strange reactions because people aren't used to an open approach to negotiating. Some people don't want to negotiate that way, which brings me to a second reason ethical negotiations can be so challenging. Making sure that you don't get manipulated by someone who is not so honest takes savvy.
How to Avoid Being Manipulated
A difference in standards can cause serious problems when negotiating. Just because you follow all the principles I outline through Negotiate Like the Pros, that doesn't guarantee that everyone you negotiate with will be as mature and fair-minded as you are. (I know that once you've learned all my negotiating secrets, you're going to be mature and fair-minded, right?) You have to be prepared to run into less-than-honest bargainers, people who have their eye on the prize and have no qualms about running over you to get it.
These people have no interests in forging mutually beneficial agreements. They are only interested in what's good for them, and they don't mind abusing others to get it. They are the hardballers. They want to play rough. They don't care if there's such a thing as principled negotiating. They think they can get more by bullying the people they negotiate with. They believe they're stronger than their opponents and think they can walk away with the spoils if they go for the jugular vein.
Don't misunderstand me. Not every person you meet at the negotiating table is going to be an unscrupulous rogue. Some people don't share your high standards for negotiating because they don't know any better. Before reading this book, what were your attitudes toward negotiating? Did you see it as a "me-against-my-opponent" proposition? Did you feel like the only way you could win was for someone else to lose? Some people don't realize there's a better, easier way to negotiate.
I have a system for negotiating that can handle any of the problems that inevitably crop up when I'm with people from either group.
Defense Tactic 1: Maintain your standards.
If a person approaches negotiations aggressively out of ignorance, I can eventually win him or her over to my style. Most people don't want to be enemies. They just don't want to get ripped off. If you can demonstrate to them that you're interested in a fair deal, they will usually drop the aggressiveness routine and start to work with you.
Defense Tactic 2: Protect yourself by not fighting back directly.
When you meet with the people who don't want to play fair, you can protect yourself - and you don't have to resort to trickery or manipulation to do it.
If you think about it, most sharks are propelled by three basic drives - greed, self-centeredness, and an exaggerated ego. And any of those three drives makes them extremely vulnerable to a smart negotiator.
Roger Fisher and William Ury call this approach "negotiation jujitsu" in their book Getting to Yes. Jujitsu is a form of martial arts that focuses on deflecting attacks rather than engaging the enemy. If someone is running toward you aggressively, you don't stand your ground and hit back when they run into you. You step to the side and let them run past.
Defense Tactic 3. Call in a third-party arbitrator.
Rarely in my experience as a lawyer and a businessman have I ever had to call in a third-party arbitrator because the people I was negotiating with insisted on using less-than-honorable techniques. It almost neve
Most of us have found ourselves working on a team at one time or another. That means we have been asked to attend, and even participate, in lots of meetings. Unfortunately, few of us found these meetings to be particularly effective. Many in fact are a complete waste of valuable time and resources.The difficulty with most meetings is that they are typically planned and run by extroverts, who do not take into account the needs of the introverts. Why is this important? Because a key diffentiating characteristic between extroverts and introverts is in the way they process information.Extroverts will tend to "think out loud." They verbally walk themselves through the thinking process. Introverts however want to process new information on their own, in their heads, before commenting or vocalizing their thoughts.ed as you are. (I know that once you've learned all my negotiating secrets, you're going to be mature and fair-minded, right?) You have to be prepared to run into less-than-honest bargainers, people who have their eye on the prize and have no qualms about running over you to get it.
These people have no interests in forging mutually beneficial agreements. They are only interested in what's good for them, and they don't mind abusing others to get it. They are the hardballers. They want to play rough. They don't care if there's such a thing as principled negotiating. They think they can get more by bullying the people they negotiate with. They believe they're stronger than their opponents and think they can walk away with the spoils if they go for the jugular vein.
Don't misunderstand me. Not every person you meet at the negotiating table is going to be an unscrupulous rogue. Some people don't share your high standards for negotiating because they don't know any better. Before reading this book, what were your attitudes toward negotiating? Did you see it as a "me-against-my-opponent" proposition? Did you feel like the only way you could win was for someone else to lose? Some people don't realize there's a better, easier way to negotiate.
I have a system for negotiating that can handle any of the problems that inevitably crop up when I'm with people from either group.
Defense Tactic 1: Maintain your standards.
If a person approaches negotiations aggressively out of ignorance, I can eventually win him or her over to my style. Most people don't want to be enemies. They just don't want to get ripped off. If you can demonstrate to them that you're interested in a fair deal, they will usually drop the aggressiveness routine and start to work with you.
Defense Tactic 2: Protect yourself by not fighting back directly.
When you meet with the people who don't want to play fair, you can protect yourself - and you don't have to resort to trickery or manipulation to do it.
If you think about it, most sharks are propelled by three basic drives - greed, self-centeredness, and an exaggerated ego. And any of those three drives makes them extremely vulnerable to a smart negotiator.
Roger Fisher and William Ury call this approach "negotiation jujitsu" in their book Getting to Yes. Jujitsu is a form of martial arts that focuses on deflecting attacks rather than engaging the enemy. If someone is running toward you aggressively, you don't stand your ground and hit back when they run into you. You step to the side and let them run past.
Defense Tactic 3. Call in a third-party arbitrator.
Rarely in my experience as a lawyer and a businessman have I ever had to call in a third-party arbitrator because the people I was negotiating with insisted on using less-than-honorable techniques. It almost neve
Small business startups can be nerve-wracking and difficult to endure in the best of times. When you start to run short of cash, they can be an absolute nightmare. When you're in this situation, false hopes can be especially cruel. Imagine you've reached the end of your financial rope. Then you hear about free government grants for small business. Could it be that easy?Free government grants for small business is an enduring enticement for entrepreneurs. Many small business owners have pinned their hopes on free cash from the government. The reality is that government cash may be available, but it is rarely free. Free government grants are always meant to accomplish certain goals and encourage certain kinds of development.There's always the chance that the needs of your small business will align w
I have a system for negotiating that can handle any of the problems that inevitably crop up when I'm with people from either group.
Defense Tactic 1: Maintain your standards.
If a person approaches negotiations aggressively out of ignorance, I can eventually win him or her over to my style. Most people don't want to be enemies. They just don't want to get ripped off. If you can demonstrate to them that you're interested in a fair deal, they will usually drop the aggressiveness routine and start to work with you.
Defense Tactic 2: Protect yourself by not fighting back directly.
When you meet with the people who don't want to play fair, you can protect yourself - and you don't have to resort to trickery or manipulation to do it.
If you think about it, most sharks are propelled by three basic drives - greed, self-centeredness, and an exaggerated ego. And any of those three drives makes them extremely vulnerable to a smart negotiator.
Roger Fisher and William Ury call this approach "negotiation jujitsu" in their book Getting to Yes. Jujitsu is a form of martial arts that focuses on deflecting attacks rather than engaging the enemy. If someone is running toward you aggressively, you don't stand your ground and hit back when they run into you. You step to the side and let them run past.
Defense Tactic 3. Call in a third-party arbitrator.
Rarely in my experience as a lawyer and a businessman have I ever had to call in a third-party arbitrator because the people I was negotiating with insisted on using less-than-honorable techniques. It almost neve
Managers and leaders who are overly negative and critical in the name of facing reality alienate their employees and customers, close down honest and open dialogue in their organizations and foster cynical, hopeless and lifeless cultures. Ignoring the positive while focusing only on the negative can be a form of management malpractice. But management malpractice will never be stopped if that’s all we expect from the managers and leaders of our organizations. The danger in focusing only on the negative while neglecting the positive lies in never envisioning the possibility of greater change, improvement, learning, breakthrough, progress, fulfillment, or happiness.The attitude that managers and leaders in organizations will always malpractice management and will never improve is far too negative to produce change and impro
If you think about it, most sharks are propelled by three basic drives - greed, self-centeredness, and an exaggerated ego. And any of those three drives makes them extremely vulnerable to a smart negotiator.
Roger Fisher and William Ury call this approach "negotiation jujitsu" in their book Getting to Yes. Jujitsu is a form of martial arts that focuses on deflecting attacks rather than engaging the enemy. If someone is running toward you aggressively, you don't stand your ground and hit back when they run into you. You step to the side and let them run past.
Defense Tactic 3. Call in a third-party arbitrator.
Rarely in my experience as a lawyer and a businessman have I ever had to call in a third-party arbitrator because the people I was negotiating with insisted on using less-than-honorable techniques. It almost never reaches this point. But probably most of us have been involved in situations where we needed someone who was completely impartial and had no links to anyone in the negotiations to help guide the negotiating process.
The benefit of bringing in a third party is that they can shift the negotiations from positional bargaining to bargaining based on interests. A third party can look at all sides objectively and weave together a plan that takes into account everyone's interests.
Defense Tactic 4. Bail out.
When all else fails - you can't persuade the other party or parties to negotiate honestly and openly, and a mediator doesn't work - abandon the negotiations, at least for a while.
Maybe a deal just wasn't meant to be. Sometimes you get a gut feeling telling you to get out of a certain negotiating situation. Go with it. Remember, you will be negotiating from a much stronger position if you are willing to walk away from the bargaining table. Maybe both parties need more time to think about what they want and what they are willing to give for it.
In Conclusion
Negotiating is a complex process, even under the best of circumstances. Every person involved in a negotiation brings to the event a different background, culture, perceptions, values, and standards. Breaking through these differences can seem impossible, yet it is crucial to creating a mutually beneficial agreement. Maintain your standards throughout negotiations.
If you can't win cooperation, chances are you will gain nothing from the negotiations. When you encounter people who aren't negotiating ethically, try to bring them up to your level. If the other party doesn't respond to your attempts to do so, be willing to walk away. You won't have lost anything.
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