Addicted to Praise
The young man took his place behind the lectern, preparing to address the graduating class. He had earned the right to make this speech by having the best grade point average over the last four years. In addition to being the valedictorian he was graduating with academic honors. So were two thirds of the members of his class.It's not just this high school. I checked around a bit and found that grades appear higher and there are more "honors" graduates, even though official standards don't seem to h

Office Security
Security, as we’ve suggested before, can mean many things, and different measures bring a feeling of security to different people. But the core of security is controlling access – to oneself (and by extension family or coworkers); to personal information; to portable property, or a physical location, or even, as in the case of stalkers, to proximity.Monitoring is a fundamental component of every method of access control. You have to know who’s there to determine whether or not to allow access. Peep

Market Yourself as the Expert
As a small business how do you compete with the big guys and their big budget advertising campaign? The big guys don't read this magazine so we can share these low budget yet high-impact marketing secrets with you.Use these tips to market yourself as the expert in your field.Write tips sheets - for your clients, prospects and the media.Write and publish articles in magazines, newsletters and newspapers.Write letters to the editor expressing opinions, advice and clarification. second paragraph is to get you to read the third paragraph.

Good going there sunshine -- no need to bring you back from the dead -- at least not yet anyway.

So today we'll look at the second paragraph of our mock display ad.

Again, you can check out that original ad (and even print out a copy of it) right here:

http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/real_estate_ad_071505.htm

The second paragraph says, "We have developed a completely unique real esate system which not only helps our agents easily earn over $100,000 a year, but also pro-vides exceptional service for our many clients."

Good things about this: BLuntly, any goodness this paragraph delivers is completely submarined by the one completely stupid and amateurish move this writer made.

And here it is:

As soon as you started saying "WE have developed", your immediately started raising your prospects "bullshit" detector.

See, right away, your telling them...

THIS IS A SALES PITCH!

Which completely nullifies anything going on that's actually good here.

When you write your sales copy, although there are exceptions to the rule (like when you're telling a story about yourself, for example), you want to write this glowing review about your product, as if it was coming from an unbiased and neutral third party -- someone with NO vested interest.

Also, I'm not sure "providing exceptional service" is something that's a primary benefit to realtors who may be interested in this product.

It may be a benefit, but it's probably not something you'd highlight in your display ad.

Here's something I might say instead:

"You see, an amazing new prospecting system has recently been developed that totally turns the tables on your sellers and buyers. Instead of worrying about where you're going to find your next seller, using this system, your sellers end up being the one's HOPING to find you!"

And so, from the beginning, your copy so far, would read like this:

"If you are a highly motivated real estate age

sily earn over $100,000 a year, but also pro-vides exceptional service for our many clients."

Good things about this: BLuntly, any goodness this paragraph delivers is completely submarined by the one completely stupid and amateurish move this writer made.

And here it is:

As soon as you started saying "WE have developed", your immediately started raising your prospects "bullshit" detector.

See, right away, your telling them...

THIS IS A SALES PITCH!

Which completely nullifies anything going on that's actually good here.

When you write your sales copy, although there are exceptions to the rule (like when you're telling a story about yourself, for example), you want to write this glowing review about your product, as if it was coming from an unbiased and neutral third party -- someone with NO vested interest.

Also, I'm not sure "providing exceptional service" is something that's a primary benefit to realtors who may be interested in this product.

It may be a benefit, but it's probably not something you'd highlight in your display ad.

Here's something I might say instead:

"You see, an amazing new prospecting system has recently been developed that totally turns the tables on your sellers and buyers. Instead of worrying about where you're going to find your next seller, using this system, your sellers end up being the one's HOPING to find you!"

And so, from the beginning, your copy so far, would read like this:

"If you are a highly motivated real estate age

thing going on that's actually good here.

When you write your sales copy, although there are exceptions to the rule (like when you're telling a story about yourself, for example), you want to write this glowing review about your product, as if it was coming from an unbiased and neutral third party -- someone with NO vested interest.

Also, I'm not sure "providing exceptional service" is something that's a primary benefit to realtors who may be interested in this product.

It may be a benefit, but it's probably not something you'd highlight in your display ad.

Here's something I might say instead:

"You see, an amazing new prospecting system has recently been developed that totally turns the tables on your sellers and buyers. Instead of worrying about where you're going to find your next seller, using this system, your sellers end up being the one's HOPING to find you!"

And so, from the beginning, your copy so far, would read like this:

"If you are a highly motivated real estate age

it's probably not something you'd highlight in your display ad.

Here's something I might say instead:

"You see, an amazing new prospecting system has recently been developed that totally turns the tables on your sellers and buyers. Instead of worrying about where you're going to find your next seller, using this system, your sellers end up being the one's HOPING to find you!"

And so, from the beginning, your copy so far, would read like this:

"If you are a highly motivated real estate agent with a burning desire to increase your commissions by at least $100,000 dollars in the next six months -- regardless of what level you're at now -- and if you're sick and tired of dealing with buyers and sellers who really aren't as sincere as you felt they were up-front... and you've had it "up to here" with people trying to whittle your commissions down to practically nothing... then this is the most exciting and important message you will ever read!

You see, an amazing new prospecting system has recently been developed that totally turns the tables on your sellers and buyers. Instead of worrying about where you're going to find your next seller, using this system, the sellers end up being the one's hoping to find you!"

Tomorrow we'll check out how to continue on with this paragraph, and we'll see what else you must include in your sales pitches, so they're a little more convincing than those beauty pageant contestants who all say "World Peace" whenever they're asked what their one wish is.

If you check out this tip online, you'll be able to see the italics and emphasis I've placed on certain words for pausing and sounding purposes.

You can see that here: http://tinyurl.com/98ojw

Now go sell something,

Craig Garber http://www.KingOfCopy.com

P.S. Check out all the prior archives you've been missing, right here at: http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/tiparchives.html