g them responsible for your happiness the seat of balance remains outside of your control. Drop the blame and claim responsibility for your own reactions and responses back.

Shame:
This is a tricky and often misunderstood word. We might feel a form of shame that is linked to regret for actions we wish we had done or not done. And we might experience a different shame that is generate

Imagine a scale. On one side is your inner world. On the other side your outer world. What has more impact on how you feel?If you answered your outer world then you might find what you read here liberating. If you answered your inner world you are already in the process of maintaining balance in the only place it can really come from - inside your own self.

Life happens. And there is no doubt that when things do not go the way we hope we experience sadness and disappointment. Relationships shift, hoped for career moves do not happen, money comes and goes and some nights our sleep is interrupted and we experience a loss of energy the next day.

If we let our happiness be solely dependent upon outer world events we will have difficulty attaining or sustaining emotional equilibrium. So how do we claim back the seat of balance that secures our inner happiness? What has to shift in our thinking before we can firmly establish and maintain balance on the inside?

I learned long ago that feelings are neither good nor bad. They are strong and powerful indicators that let me know what is working for me and what is not. When I pay attention to my feelings in this way I do not get swamped by them. Instead they inform me about my genuine needs, empower me to communicate authentically with others, and help me to take actions that move me in the direction of what I seek.

In order to attain balance there are four specific things that must be acknowledged and dealt with when they appear on the scene.

Blame:
If you are pointing your finger at others and holding them responsible for your happiness the seat of balance remains outside of your control. Drop the blame and claim responsibility for your own reactions and responses back.

Shame:
This is a tricky and often misunderstood word. We might feel a form of shame that is linked to regret for actions we wish we had done or not done. And we might experience a different shame that is generated

at when things do not go the way we hope we experience sadness and disappointment. Relationships shift, hoped for career moves do not happen, money comes and goes and some nights our sleep is interrupted and we experience a loss of energy the next day.

If we let our happiness be solely dependent upon outer world events we will have difficulty attaining or sustaining emotional equilibrium. So how do we claim back the seat of balance that secures our inner happiness? What has to shift in our thinking before we can firmly establish and maintain balance on the inside?

I learned long ago that feelings are neither good nor bad. They are strong and powerful indicators that let me know what is working for me and what is not. When I pay attention to my feelings in this way I do not get swamped by them. Instead they inform me about my genuine needs, empower me to communicate authentically with others, and help me to take actions that move me in the direction of what I seek.

In order to attain balance there are four specific things that must be acknowledged and dealt with when they appear on the scene.

Blame:
If you are pointing your finger at others and holding them responsible for your happiness the seat of balance remains outside of your control. Drop the blame and claim responsibility for your own reactions and responses back.

Shame:
This is a tricky and often misunderstood word. We might feel a form of shame that is linked to regret for actions we wish we had done or not done. And we might experience a different shame that is generate

> So how do we claim back the seat of balance that secures our inner happiness? What has to shift in our thinking before we can firmly establish and maintain balance on the inside?

I learned long ago that feelings are neither good nor bad. They are strong and powerful indicators that let me know what is working for me and what is not. When I pay attention to my feelings in this way I do not get swamped by them. Instead they inform me about my genuine needs, empower me to communicate authentically with others, and help me to take actions that move me in the direction of what I seek.

In order to attain balance there are four specific things that must be acknowledged and dealt with when they appear on the scene.

Blame:
If you are pointing your finger at others and holding them responsible for your happiness the seat of balance remains outside of your control. Drop the blame and claim responsibility for your own reactions and responses back.

Shame:
This is a tricky and often misunderstood word. We might feel a form of shame that is linked to regret for actions we wish we had done or not done. And we might experience a different shame that is generate

swamped by them. Instead they inform me about my genuine needs, empower me to communicate authentically with others, and help me to take actions that move me in the direction of what I seek.

In order to attain balance there are four specific things that must be acknowledged and dealt with when they appear on the scene.

Blame:
If you are pointing your finger at others and holding them responsible for your happiness the seat of balance remains outside of your control. Drop the blame and claim responsibility for your own reactions and responses back.

Shame:
This is a tricky and often misunderstood word. We might feel a form of shame that is linked to regret for actions we wish we had done or not done. And we might experience a different shame that is generate

g them responsible for your happiness the seat of balance remains outside of your control. Drop the blame and claim responsibility for your own reactions and responses back.

Shame:
This is a tricky and often misunderstood word. We might feel a form of shame that is linked to regret for actions we wish we had done or not done. And we might experience a different shame that is generated by ideas that we are lacking in goodness or worth. Either way, shame lies on top of the natural river of feelings and inhibits the flow. Shame needs to be recognized and dealt with.

Guilt:
Guilt is not really an emotion at all. It is a judgment delivered about what has been predetermined to be right or wrong. Saying that we “feel guilty” can be a tactic to explain behavior and to avoid being fully accountable for the choices and decisions we make.

Grief:
Unacknowledged, unexpressed and unresolved grief freezes the river of life. We need to mourn our losses, learn to release the past in order to be fully present to create and renew ourselves with a positive future.

When Blame, Shame, Guilt and Grief remain hidden they interfere with the natural flow of feelings that nourish and balance us from this inside out. Like a backed up, or clogged stream, feelings that do not flow create stagnation and pressure that eventually must be released. Balance requires flow. The title of a book by Barry Stevens comes to mind. Don’t Push the River - it flows by itself. I would add to this: Don’t Resist the River either!

The Connection Option: Balance In the grander scheme of things life is always seeking, and creating balance. While circumstances or conditions might appear to be out of balance there is a deeper energy of balance running into and through everything. When we tap into the natural spiritual quality of balance we experience ease. We relax and go with the flow of our lives. Connecting with the energy of balance invites us to brin