assertive in my own conflicts but have had to work hard to fully learn that not all conflicts need engaging at full strength!

My mother was raised in a family and in a generation that prevented her from spreading her wings as she

My mother, who was born on the fourth of July, told me that everyone in the country celebrated her birthday. As a youngster, I decided she must be very famous and much loved. While age brought understanding of her joke, the image of my mother as someone who deserved love and fame never diminished for me.

Because of my line of work, I’ve had plenty of opportunity to reflect on the lessons I learned from my mother about conflict and its resolution. Some of them have been powerfully helpful---and a few have been powerfully unfortunate.

A strong woman of Scottish heritage and with an assertive streak a mile long, she was also deeply kind and compassionate. She taught me that I should engage conflict willingly and as kindly as possible, and that I should stand strong, especially when advocating for those who were less able to advocate for themselves. The way I understood these messages has been a mixed blessing: I am assertive in my own conflicts but have had to work hard to fully learn that not all conflicts need engaging at full strength!

My mother was raised in a family and in a generation that prevented her from spreading her wings as she w

y mother as someone who deserved love and fame never diminished for me.

Because of my line of work, I’ve had plenty of opportunity to reflect on the lessons I learned from my mother about conflict and its resolution. Some of them have been powerfully helpful---and a few have been powerfully unfortunate.

A strong woman of Scottish heritage and with an assertive streak a mile long, she was also deeply kind and compassionate. She taught me that I should engage conflict willingly and as kindly as possible, and that I should stand strong, especially when advocating for those who were less able to advocate for themselves. The way I understood these messages has been a mixed blessing: I am assertive in my own conflicts but have had to work hard to fully learn that not all conflicts need engaging at full strength!

My mother was raised in a family and in a generation that prevented her from spreading her wings as she

have been powerfully helpful---and a few have been powerfully unfortunate.

A strong woman of Scottish heritage and with an assertive streak a mile long, she was also deeply kind and compassionate. She taught me that I should engage conflict willingly and as kindly as possible, and that I should stand strong, especially when advocating for those who were less able to advocate for themselves. The way I understood these messages has been a mixed blessing: I am assertive in my own conflicts but have had to work hard to fully learn that not all conflicts need engaging at full strength!

My mother was raised in a family and in a generation that prevented her from spreading her wings as she

age conflict willingly and as kindly as possible, and that I should stand strong, especially when advocating for those who were less able to advocate for themselves. The way I understood these messages has been a mixed blessing: I am assertive in my own conflicts but have had to work hard to fully learn that not all conflicts need engaging at full strength!

My mother was raised in a family and in a generation that prevented her from spreading her wings as she

assertive in my own conflicts but have had to work hard to fully learn that not all conflicts need engaging at full strength!

My mother was raised in a family and in a generation that prevented her from spreading her wings as she wished. She attended Katharine Gibbs instead of a four-year college, though her grades and ability would have gained her entrance anywhere she sought if she were college-bound today. She regretted those closed doors her entire life and, I think, wished she’d pressed the issue when she was 18. From my earliest memories, she taught me that the sky is the limit and that, as a woman, I am equal to any man and to any challenge. This independence, while freeing in so many ways, has also been my Achilles heel during conflict. I’m always tempted to over-assert just how capable and independent I am, sometimes to my own detriment.

She taught me compassion, to look for the equal human in front of me, especially when I’m tempted to judge others harshly. Somehow, in my younger years, I judged some people harshly anyway. I have often reflected on how long it took me to find and truly employ my mother’s lesson in compassion. The work