every fifteen or twenty minutes, they will experience violent tremors then lapse into a coma. In fact, if anyone would like to make a million dollars, simply invent a high fructose I.V. that mounts above the cubicle and drips sugar continuously into the employee, thus minimizing eating and coma time and maximizing productivity.

Now, I don’t want you to assume that I dislike inventors. Not so! I absolu

Calendars and cubicles, do you wonder how they could possibly be related? Calendars have been around for hundreds of years. The primary practical use of a calendar is to identify days. They help us to be informed about a future event and to record an event that has happened. They allow us to plan ahead and to record events, dates and appointments that are important to us. For example, a calendar provides a way to determine which days are religious or civil holidays, which days mark the beginning and end of business accounting periods, and which days have legal significance, such as the day taxes are due or a contract expires. So where does the cubical come in you ask? That is quite a different story.

I absolutely disdain the rotten person who invented the office cubicle. I have worked at the Utah State Prison and I can state unequivocally that inmates in maximum security are happier than people who work in cubicles. In fact, if I were to pull an inmate off of death row and force him to spend one week in a cubicle, he would call the governor and beg that his execution be expedited at once. There is a name for this terrible malady, it is known as CUBICIDAL DEPRESSION. Some of the classical manifestations are: banging face against the computer screen, incoherent babbling, uncontrollable trembling, lying under the cubicle in the fetal position.

CUBICIDAL OBESITY

Did you ever notice that Americans grew obese the same year that the cubicle was invented? That is correct, cubicles cause obesity. It works like this: people in cubicles become so depressed, that if they don’t receive large amounts of sugar every fifteen or twenty minutes, they will experience violent tremors then lapse into a coma. In fact, if anyone would like to make a million dollars, simply invent a high fructose I.V. that mounts above the cubicle and drips sugar continuously into the employee, thus minimizing eating and coma time and maximizing productivity.

Now, I don’t want you to assume that I dislike inventors. Not so! I absolut

way to determine which days are religious or civil holidays, which days mark the beginning and end of business accounting periods, and which days have legal significance, such as the day taxes are due or a contract expires. So where does the cubical come in you ask? That is quite a different story.

I absolutely disdain the rotten person who invented the office cubicle. I have worked at the Utah State Prison and I can state unequivocally that inmates in maximum security are happier than people who work in cubicles. In fact, if I were to pull an inmate off of death row and force him to spend one week in a cubicle, he would call the governor and beg that his execution be expedited at once. There is a name for this terrible malady, it is known as CUBICIDAL DEPRESSION. Some of the classical manifestations are: banging face against the computer screen, incoherent babbling, uncontrollable trembling, lying under the cubicle in the fetal position.

CUBICIDAL OBESITY

Did you ever notice that Americans grew obese the same year that the cubicle was invented? That is correct, cubicles cause obesity. It works like this: people in cubicles become so depressed, that if they don’t receive large amounts of sugar every fifteen or twenty minutes, they will experience violent tremors then lapse into a coma. In fact, if anyone would like to make a million dollars, simply invent a high fructose I.V. that mounts above the cubicle and drips sugar continuously into the employee, thus minimizing eating and coma time and maximizing productivity.

Now, I don’t want you to assume that I dislike inventors. Not so! I absolu

e Prison and I can state unequivocally that inmates in maximum security are happier than people who work in cubicles. In fact, if I were to pull an inmate off of death row and force him to spend one week in a cubicle, he would call the governor and beg that his execution be expedited at once. There is a name for this terrible malady, it is known as CUBICIDAL DEPRESSION. Some of the classical manifestations are: banging face against the computer screen, incoherent babbling, uncontrollable trembling, lying under the cubicle in the fetal position.

CUBICIDAL OBESITY

Did you ever notice that Americans grew obese the same year that the cubicle was invented? That is correct, cubicles cause obesity. It works like this: people in cubicles become so depressed, that if they don’t receive large amounts of sugar every fifteen or twenty minutes, they will experience violent tremors then lapse into a coma. In fact, if anyone would like to make a million dollars, simply invent a high fructose I.V. that mounts above the cubicle and drips sugar continuously into the employee, thus minimizing eating and coma time and maximizing productivity.

Now, I don’t want you to assume that I dislike inventors. Not so! I absolu

e: banging face against the computer screen, incoherent babbling, uncontrollable trembling, lying under the cubicle in the fetal position.

CUBICIDAL OBESITY

Did you ever notice that Americans grew obese the same year that the cubicle was invented? That is correct, cubicles cause obesity. It works like this: people in cubicles become so depressed, that if they don’t receive large amounts of sugar every fifteen or twenty minutes, they will experience violent tremors then lapse into a coma. In fact, if anyone would like to make a million dollars, simply invent a high fructose I.V. that mounts above the cubicle and drips sugar continuously into the employee, thus minimizing eating and coma time and maximizing productivity.

Now, I don’t want you to assume that I dislike inventors. Not so! I absolu

every fifteen or twenty minutes, they will experience violent tremors then lapse into a coma. In fact, if anyone would like to make a million dollars, simply invent a high fructose I.V. that mounts above the cubicle and drips sugar continuously into the employee, thus minimizing eating and coma time and maximizing productivity.

Now, I don’t want you to assume that I dislike inventors. Not so! I absolutely love the person that engineered seedless watermelon. I have no idea who he or she is, but THANK YOU. This engineering marvel is so beneficial to the human race that the person who invented seedless watermelon should receive the Nobel Prize.

Please excuse the digression into watermelon. It’s just that as I was thinking about cubicles I could feel myself begin to slump into the fetal position and I had the most powerful urge to eat a big sugary, juicy, seedless watermelon. G..i..v..e… m..e… a… s.e.c.o.n.d…. Ok… I think the trembling has stopped. Thanks to whoever invented chocolate, I think I’m now strong enough to continue.

The only other antidote to cubicidal depression is a beautiful calendar to brighten your cubicle. A beautiful calendar can actually trick the brain into believing that the body is somewhere else. Like Italy or perhaps Maui!

There are a variety of desk and wall calendars available to brighten your cubicle. I found calendars with animals, cars, beautiful scenery, famous American spots, etc. that will brighten your cubicle and your day. If you prefer spiral bound wall calendars, or if you are partial to staple bound, both types are readily available to cheer up your cubicle walls.

Small or large calendars, matte or laminated finish, all will brighten your cubicle surroundings. There are wall and desk calendars that you can have custom made with your company logo that are also available with gorgeous scenery, well-known American sites, wild animals, motivational photos, cars etc.

Try out a beautiful calendar to brighten your cubicle and your day, while also minimizi