Of course I would have to start out, and work through the ranks to become like my Idol Arnold. Basically, my mind finally took the bait and I bought in as my "value system had been compromised".

My First Steroid Guru – Bill Phillips

I then set about "educating" myself about these drugs. I remember my excitement when I purchased my first copy of the “Underground Steroid Hand

My own journey into bodybuilding innocently started out as a way to overcome a common teenage insecurity. This need to be bigger, stronger, and thus “more masculine” was coupled with a new found confidence that I could produce a desirable outcome in my life by progressive weight training.

As a teenager and a young adult seeing changes in my body exerted an influence as powerful as any drug because there was so much in my life I could not control. The gym served a two-fold drive. One to overcome an insecurity: and two, to become SELF-Directed as previous mentioned.

But here is where things went awry if you will.

After my first bodybuilding contest and then after grinding out another 3 more years of intense effort I came to the realization that I would not be able to be "successful" in competitive bodybuilding unless I started to use steroids. Note this is not a commentary on whether steroid is good or bad etc. I am using this to illustrate the "changing psychology" and the rationalizations that sprung up within myself.

Even though I had built an impressive physique form my efforts I was not satisfied. You see, once I started competing, I began comparing myself to others, and it was this comparison that got me into the sport in the first place.

It appears my own insecurity was only masked by a few muscles and had allowed me to succumb to the bombardment of fabricated ideologies propagated in muscle magazines about the value of winning a bodybuilding show, or better yet, reaching the pinnacle of human development and winning the Mr. Universe.

Of course I would have to start out, and work through the ranks to become like my Idol Arnold. Basically, my mind finally took the bait and I bought in as my "value system had been compromised".

My First Steroid Guru – Bill Phillips

I then set about "educating" myself about these drugs. I remember my excitement when I purchased my first copy of the “Underground Steroid Handb

But here is where things went awry if you will.

After my first bodybuilding contest and then after grinding out another 3 more years of intense effort I came to the realization that I would not be able to be "successful" in competitive bodybuilding unless I started to use steroids. Note this is not a commentary on whether steroid is good or bad etc. I am using this to illustrate the "changing psychology" and the rationalizations that sprung up within myself.

Even though I had built an impressive physique form my efforts I was not satisfied. You see, once I started competing, I began comparing myself to others, and it was this comparison that got me into the sport in the first place.

It appears my own insecurity was only masked by a few muscles and had allowed me to succumb to the bombardment of fabricated ideologies propagated in muscle magazines about the value of winning a bodybuilding show, or better yet, reaching the pinnacle of human development and winning the Mr. Universe.

Of course I would have to start out, and work through the ranks to become like my Idol Arnold. Basically, my mind finally took the bait and I bought in as my "value system had been compromised".

My First Steroid Guru – Bill Phillips

I then set about "educating" myself about these drugs. I remember my excitement when I purchased my first copy of the “Underground Steroid Hand

Even though I had built an impressive physique form my efforts I was not satisfied. You see, once I started competing, I began comparing myself to others, and it was this comparison that got me into the sport in the first place.

It appears my own insecurity was only masked by a few muscles and had allowed me to succumb to the bombardment of fabricated ideologies propagated in muscle magazines about the value of winning a bodybuilding show, or better yet, reaching the pinnacle of human development and winning the Mr. Universe.

Of course I would have to start out, and work through the ranks to become like my Idol Arnold. Basically, my mind finally took the bait and I bought in as my "value system had been compromised".

My First Steroid Guru – Bill Phillips

I then set about "educating" myself about these drugs. I remember my excitement when I purchased my first copy of the “Underground Steroid Hand

It appears my own insecurity was only masked by a few muscles and had allowed me to succumb to the bombardment of fabricated ideologies propagated in muscle magazines about the value of winning a bodybuilding show, or better yet, reaching the pinnacle of human development and winning the Mr. Universe.

Of course I would have to start out, and work through the ranks to become like my Idol Arnold. Basically, my mind finally took the bait and I bought in as my "value system had been compromised".

My First Steroid Guru – Bill Phillips

I then set about "educating" myself about these drugs. I remember my excitement when I purchased my first copy of the “Underground Steroid Hand

Of course I would have to start out, and work through the ranks to become like my Idol Arnold. Basically, my mind finally took the bait and I bought in as my "value system had been compromised".

My First Steroid Guru – Bill Phillips

I then set about "educating" myself about these drugs. I remember my excitement when I purchased my first copy of the “Underground Steroid Handbook 6th Edition” written by Bill Phillips. Yes the same Bill Phillips that brought us EAS and Body For Life.

To Bill’s credit the book was pretty good and certainly helped me understand the need to safely inject myself. It also provided numerous, graphs, charts, theories, and definitions as to what steroids did what, how to use them, side effects, counterfeits, and how to locate legitimate products at reasonable prices.

After hanging around the gym and “getting to know” some of the bigger guys who were competing I inquired about how I might obtain some of these drugs to enhance my own chances of bodybuilding success. It wasn’t long before I made friends with a local bodybuilding champion who took it upon himself to show me the ropes.

After the requisite exchange of cash, and the “duffel bag drop” off in the locker room I was in with the “Big Boys”. I went home in a state of euphoria and nervousness as I took my new found “magic potion” to my apartment. I fumbled with the vials nervously for almost an hour before I figured out how to get the drugs out of the tiny vial.

Before you know it I managed to take my first injection of “Primobolan”, Arnold’s favorite drug of choice according to our good friend and steroid advisor Bill Phillips. I also ingested a couple of “Dianabol” tablets a day for the next 8 weeks according to the diamond pattern recommended by the Guru.

I gained 25lbs on my first cycle drugs… it all seemed to easy. When I eventually came off the drugs I lost about 15 pounds and had a curious pain in my shoulder. The individual who sold me the drugs assured me this was normal.