made in a hurtful tone. They can't hear any good things you may finally say about them. They are trying to wrap their mind around the unexpected information they have received. They may promise to try to do better, but that tape will keep replaying and as the shock wears off the anger sets in. What should have been a conversation aimed at resolution and repair, became a disaster with the resulting ruins strewn all throughout the employee's ego, heart and mind. Only a very strong person can override those feelings. In the end, you may have focused on only one aspManagers and bosses have to give feedback to the teams that they lead. The other day one of our hygienists remarked that she hated performance reviews because she worries that I'll tell her something about herself that she won't like. She generally gets very edgy to the point of almost panic before a review. I told her she never again has to worry about a performance review. I never tell anyone anything bad about themselves in a performance review. I generally go over all their strongest points first and then I may let them know where they are good, but could get better. I don't believe in rolling the whole year into one big ball of wax and bringing up something that happened in January in a review in March. I see a review as a time to go over all the things we are grateful about in the employee and to promote the areas in which they excel. This is a time when I also let them know about their salary adjustment. It should be a time to feel good. There are so few times that we actually sit a person down and shine the spotlight on them. Once a year it should be all positive. This doesn't mean I ignore poor performance or behavior. I address it at the time it happens. I don't wait for the "review".

When a boss or manager calls a staff member into their office for a discussion of their performance, the air of anticipation in the staff member's heart is like a parent holding their breath while waiting to see if the high pop will land in their child's glove or somewhere just behind them. It is a helpless, hopeful feeling that everything will turn out well. It is important for a boss to respect that power. There are times that a staff member must be made to face some hard truths. It is wise to preface those truths with compassion and focus on the employees strengths and to segue into how those traits can be used to make needed changes. If you begin the session by reading a laundry list of complaints about the person you create a deaf, numb body sitting in front of you. If and when you get to any good comments about them it's too late. They may be sitting in front of you, and may look like they're listening, but they're really hearing the endlessly looping tape of your negative comments playing over and over. Especially if those comments are made in a hurtful tone. They can't hear any good things you may finally say about them. They are trying to wrap their mind around the unexpected information they have received. They may promise to try to do better, but that tape will keep replaying and as the shock wears off the anger sets in. What should have been a conversation aimed at resolution and repair, became a disaster with the resulting ruins strewn all throughout the employee's ego, heart and mind. Only a very strong person can override those feelings. In the end, you may have focused on only one asp

better. I don't believe in rolling the whole year into one big ball of wax and bringing up something that happened in January in a review in March. I see a review as a time to go over all the things we are grateful about in the employee and to promote the areas in which they excel. This is a time when I also let them know about their salary adjustment. It should be a time to feel good. There are so few times that we actually sit a person down and shine the spotlight on them. Once a year it should be all positive. This doesn't mean I ignore poor performance or behavior. I address it at the time it happens. I don't wait for the "review".

When a boss or manager calls a staff member into their office for a discussion of their performance, the air of anticipation in the staff member's heart is like a parent holding their breath while waiting to see if the high pop will land in their child's glove or somewhere just behind them. It is a helpless, hopeful feeling that everything will turn out well. It is important for a boss to respect that power. There are times that a staff member must be made to face some hard truths. It is wise to preface those truths with compassion and focus on the employees strengths and to segue into how those traits can be used to make needed changes. If you begin the session by reading a laundry list of complaints about the person you create a deaf, numb body sitting in front of you. If and when you get to any good comments about them it's too late. They may be sitting in front of you, and may look like they're listening, but they're really hearing the endlessly looping tape of your negative comments playing over and over. Especially if those comments are made in a hurtful tone. They can't hear any good things you may finally say about them. They are trying to wrap their mind around the unexpected information they have received. They may promise to try to do better, but that tape will keep replaying and as the shock wears off the anger sets in. What should have been a conversation aimed at resolution and repair, became a disaster with the resulting ruins strewn all throughout the employee's ego, heart and mind. Only a very strong person can override those feelings. In the end, you may have focused on only one asp

havior. I address it at the time it happens. I don't wait for the "review".

When a boss or manager calls a staff member into their office for a discussion of their performance, the air of anticipation in the staff member's heart is like a parent holding their breath while waiting to see if the high pop will land in their child's glove or somewhere just behind them. It is a helpless, hopeful feeling that everything will turn out well. It is important for a boss to respect that power. There are times that a staff member must be made to face some hard truths. It is wise to preface those truths with compassion and focus on the employees strengths and to segue into how those traits can be used to make needed changes. If you begin the session by reading a laundry list of complaints about the person you create a deaf, numb body sitting in front of you. If and when you get to any good comments about them it's too late. They may be sitting in front of you, and may look like they're listening, but they're really hearing the endlessly looping tape of your negative comments playing over and over. Especially if those comments are made in a hurtful tone. They can't hear any good things you may finally say about them. They are trying to wrap their mind around the unexpected information they have received. They may promise to try to do better, but that tape will keep replaying and as the shock wears off the anger sets in. What should have been a conversation aimed at resolution and repair, became a disaster with the resulting ruins strewn all throughout the employee's ego, heart and mind. Only a very strong person can override those feelings. In the end, you may have focused on only one asp

It is wise to preface those truths with compassion and focus on the employees strengths and to segue into how those traits can be used to make needed changes. If you begin the session by reading a laundry list of complaints about the person you create a deaf, numb body sitting in front of you. If and when you get to any good comments about them it's too late. They may be sitting in front of you, and may look like they're listening, but they're really hearing the endlessly looping tape of your negative comments playing over and over. Especially if those comments are made in a hurtful tone. They can't hear any good things you may finally say about them. They are trying to wrap their mind around the unexpected information they have received. They may promise to try to do better, but that tape will keep replaying and as the shock wears off the anger sets in. What should have been a conversation aimed at resolution and repair, became a disaster with the resulting ruins strewn all throughout the employee's ego, heart and mind. Only a very strong person can override those feelings. In the end, you may have focused on only one asp made in a hurtful tone. They can't hear any good things you may finally say about them. They are trying to wrap their mind around the unexpected information they have received. They may promise to try to do better, but that tape will keep replaying and as the shock wears off the anger sets in. What should have been a conversation aimed at resolution and repair, became a disaster with the resulting ruins strewn all throughout the employee's ego, heart and mind. Only a very strong person can override those feelings. In the end, you may have focused on only one aspect of an otherwise dedicated employee. It is indulgent to do that and, as for all indulgences, you pay a price. This may be an employee you once owned. You may lose that commitment. This may be an employee who went above and beyond. They may decide that it's just a job, I'll do my time and go home.

You always have choices in everything. As a manager your choices are more important because they have a direct effect on the employee and the people they go home to at the end of the day. You can't afford to be indulgent. That's just the way it is. You have to put your personal impulses aside and work to find a way to get through to your employees without taking them down or breaking them down. In the end, you will have employees that will do anything for you. You will have served them well and they will repay you with loyalty and hard work. Find out what's right with them and shine the light on that. It may be enough to help them decide to work on what's no so great themselves. People love to hear good things about themselves. If you make them dig for it, expect things to get messy. Save everyone a lot of time and aggravation and just tell them what's right with them. You'll be glad you did.