Casual Articles - From Breakup To Bliss - Romantic Chemistry Comes In Degrees

For instance, if your romantic chemistry for a particular person is 83% (borderline between good and very good), then you may have feelings of uncertainty and confusion. On the one hand this is an important relationship and you want to keep it, but on the other hand you have vague feelings that there might be something better. You wonder whether to settle for this relationship or hold out for another.

Understanding the dynamics of relationships with varying degrees of romantic chemistry is a critical step in finding good love.

The story of Tom and Mary, condensed from my book "Love Is Not A Game (But You Should Know the Odds)," illustrates the importance of measuring chemistry before marriage and also illustrates what happens when there is a chemistry imbalance.

Mary was intelligent, outgoing, beautiful. Tom knew her from the time they were kids; their families knew each other, they never dated anyone else. Mary and Tom dated for seven years before they got married. Tom was a young and promising corporate executive. Mary didn’t really care for the corporate society scene, but there were other things more important in a relationship.

Tom was the adventurous type. One day he said, “Let’s go skinny dipping after dark at the beach. It would be fun!” To which Mary replied, “You’ve got to be kidding! That’s disgusting! What if we got caught?” I should say Tom is both adventurous and romantic. He says, “Honey, we’ve had such a nice day together, and this fire in the fireplace is so cozy, let’s do it right here. I want you right now.” “Tom, don’t be silly. The fire is beautiful, but it wouldn’t be at all comfortable on the floor. We should go up to the bedroom.”

Tom, of course, does not give up easily. “Let’s go for a bicycle ride this afternoon.” “But we don’t have bicycles!” “I know. I’ve found a place that rents bikes.” “Oh, that’s such a hassle. And it’s a waste of money to rent them.”

Tom wanted to see the world and do things. He wanted to experience life. He wanted to do things together. But they never did much.

Mary wasn’t motivated to do the things Tom wanted to do. She didn’t feel the same chemistry for Tom as he felt for her. She fantasized about going out with other men. So she left. The marriage lasted three years but ended in divorce.

Tom was very much in love with Mary. Mary, although she tried hard to make the relationship work, was only marginally in love with Tom. His feelings for her were very high (about 90%), but her feelings for him were only medium (perhaps 60%). They got married because it was the natural and expected thing to do. They didn’t measure their chemistry using Dr. Bessell’s Romantic Attraction Questionnaire (see Appendix 2 in "Love Is Not A Game") before marriage. There was chemistry but it was not in balance. Mary couldn’t get what she really wanted (a deep feeling of connection) because she did not feel enough chemistry, and this made it relatively easy for her to leave.

To complicate things, neither of them was very emotionally mature (maybe 40%). This was a very typical relationship. Lacking any real understanding of love, they jumped at the popular fantasy of “let’s play house together” and got married. It was doomed from the start by the large difference in chemistry, but they were not mature enough to understand this beforehand. Knowing More About the Adobe Photoshop
In 1987, brothers John and Thomas Knoll started developing a computer program that would focus mainly on imaging and photography using the computer. Little did the brothers knew by that time that they would come to develop one of the computer world's most sought after software---the Adobe Photoshop.When the program was initially developed, the Knolls established a firm called the Adobe Systems. The history of the company is equally interesting as the Photoshop itself. You might be wondering where the name Adobe was derived.The word is obviously not a family name of thep>

Understanding the dynamics of relationships with varying degrees of romantic chemistry is a critical step in finding good love.

The story of Tom and Mary, condensed from my book "Love Is Not A Game (But You Should Know the Odds)," illustrates the importance of measuring chemistry before marriage and also illustrates what happens when there is a chemistry imbalance.

Mary was intelligent, outgoing, beautiful. Tom knew her from the time they were kids; their families knew each other, they never dated anyone else. Mary and Tom dated for seven years before they got married. Tom was a young and promising corporate executive. Mary didn’t really care for the corporate society scene, but there were other things more important in a relationship.

Tom was the adventurous type. One day he said, “Let’s go skinny dipping after dark at the beach. It would be fun!” To which Mary replied, “You’ve got to be kidding! That’s disgusting! What if we got caught?” I should say Tom is both adventurous and romantic. He says, “Honey, we’ve had such a nice day together, and this fire in the fireplace is so cozy, let’s do it right here. I want you right now.” “Tom, don’t be silly. The fire is beautiful, but it wouldn’t be at all comfortable on the floor. We should go up to the bedroom.”

Tom, of course, does not give up easily. “Let’s go for a bicycle ride this afternoon.” “But we don’t have bicycles!” “I know. I’ve found a place that rents bikes.” “Oh, that’s such a hassle. And it’s a waste of money to rent them.”

Tom wanted to see the world and do things. He wanted to experience life. He wanted to do things together. But they never did much.

Mary wasn’t motivated to do the things Tom wanted to do. She didn’t feel the same chemistry for Tom as he felt for her. She fantasized about going out with other men. So she left. The marriage lasted three years but ended in divorce.

Tom was very much in love with Mary. Mary, although she tried hard to make the relationship work, was only marginally in love with Tom. His feelings for her were very high (about 90%), but her feelings for him were only medium (perhaps 60%). They got married because it was the natural and expected thing to do. They didn’t measure their chemistry using Dr. Bessell’s Romantic Attraction Questionnaire (see Appendix 2 in "Love Is Not A Game") before marriage. There was chemistry but it was not in balance. Mary couldn’t get what she really wanted (a deep feeling of connection) because she did not feel enough chemistry, and this made it relatively easy for her to leave.

To complicate things, neither of them was very emotionally mature (maybe 40%). This was a very typical relationship. Lacking any real understanding of love, they jumped at the popular fantasy of “let’s play house together” and got married. It was doomed from the start by the large difference in chemistry, but they were not mature enough to understand this beforehand. Article Marketing - Is It Still Effective?
Article marketing might not have the same impact as it once did a few years ago; however, it is still a very effective method of generating targeted traffic to your website.One of the main reasons why article marketing does not carry the same impact as it once did, is because there are a lot more people using this marketing medium. Now if you look at all the other methods of generating traffic to your website, you will see that they too face the same challenge.So, you are left with two choices;Believe the one's that say article marketing does not work anymore ann a relationship.

Tom was the adventurous type. One day he said, “Let’s go skinny dipping after dark at the beach. It would be fun!” To which Mary replied, “You’ve got to be kidding! That’s disgusting! What if we got caught?” I should say Tom is both adventurous and romantic. He says, “Honey, we’ve had such a nice day together, and this fire in the fireplace is so cozy, let’s do it right here. I want you right now.” “Tom, don’t be silly. The fire is beautiful, but it wouldn’t be at all comfortable on the floor. We should go up to the bedroom.”

Tom, of course, does not give up easily. “Let’s go for a bicycle ride this afternoon.” “But we don’t have bicycles!” “I know. I’ve found a place that rents bikes.” “Oh, that’s such a hassle. And it’s a waste of money to rent them.”

Tom wanted to see the world and do things. He wanted to experience life. He wanted to do things together. But they never did much.

Mary wasn’t motivated to do the things Tom wanted to do. She didn’t feel the same chemistry for Tom as he felt for her. She fantasized about going out with other men. So she left. The marriage lasted three years but ended in divorce.

Tom was very much in love with Mary. Mary, although she tried hard to make the relationship work, was only marginally in love with Tom. His feelings for her were very high (about 90%), but her feelings for him were only medium (perhaps 60%). They got married because it was the natural and expected thing to do. They didn’t measure their chemistry using Dr. Bessell’s Romantic Attraction Questionnaire (see Appendix 2 in "Love Is Not A Game") before marriage. There was chemistry but it was not in balance. Mary couldn’t get what she really wanted (a deep feeling of connection) because she did not feel enough chemistry, and this made it relatively easy for her to leave.

To complicate things, neither of them was very emotionally mature (maybe 40%). This was a very typical relationship. Lacking any real understanding of love, they jumped at the popular fantasy of “let’s play house together” and got married. It was doomed from the start by the large difference in chemistry, but they were not mature enough to understand this beforehand. How To Be A Dental School Superstar
The dental profession is an exciting and engaging career choice. If you are to go to dental school, you will face some extraordinary challenges on your way to becoming a dentist. However, the most successful dentists will take these challenges head on and go above and beyond what is required to get through dental school. Here are some ways that you can become a dental school superstar.Plan AheadTo be a dental school superstar, you will want to go to a great dental school where you can really shine. Make sure you have taken college courses that will appeal to top dentalch a hassle. And it’s a waste of money to rent them.”

Tom wanted to see the world and do things. He wanted to experience life. He wanted to do things together. But they never did much.

Mary wasn’t motivated to do the things Tom wanted to do. She didn’t feel the same chemistry for Tom as he felt for her. She fantasized about going out with other men. So she left. The marriage lasted three years but ended in divorce.

Tom was very much in love with Mary. Mary, although she tried hard to make the relationship work, was only marginally in love with Tom. His feelings for her were very high (about 90%), but her feelings for him were only medium (perhaps 60%). They got married because it was the natural and expected thing to do. They didn’t measure their chemistry using Dr. Bessell’s Romantic Attraction Questionnaire (see Appendix 2 in "Love Is Not A Game") before marriage. There was chemistry but it was not in balance. Mary couldn’t get what she really wanted (a deep feeling of connection) because she did not feel enough chemistry, and this made it relatively easy for her to leave.

To complicate things, neither of them was very emotionally mature (maybe 40%). This was a very typical relationship. Lacking any real understanding of love, they jumped at the popular fantasy of “let’s play house together” and got married. It was doomed from the start by the large difference in chemistry, but they were not mature enough to understand this beforehand. Is There Such A Thing As The After Life?
Do you believe in the after life? Do you think there is a heaven? Do you believe in any form of God? In this article I write about a strange experience which I have had which has led me to start believing in God, an after life and the existence of a heaven.The strange experience was with a client who attended one of the speech courses that I hold in Birmingham. He happened to be the oldest person who has attended one of these courses, he was aged eighty-two at the time. I must say that I was very shocked that someone of this age was interested in my course and was intrigued to do. They didn’t measure their chemistry using Dr. Bessell’s Romantic Attraction Questionnaire (see Appendix 2 in "Love Is Not A Game") before marriage. There was chemistry but it was not in balance. Mary couldn’t get what she really wanted (a deep feeling of connection) because she did not feel enough chemistry, and this made it relatively easy for her to leave.

To complicate things, neither of them was very emotionally mature (maybe 40%). This was a very typical relationship. Lacking any real understanding of love, they jumped at the popular fantasy of “let’s play house together” and got married. It was doomed from the start by the large difference in chemistry, but they were not mature enough to understand this beforehand.

One can use percentages, as I have done above, to describe the degree of romantic chemistry and the degree of emotional maturity. The relationship between Tom and Mary can thus be described as a “90%-60%-40%-40%” relationship. However, using percentages is cumbersome and not very visual or fun. In the book "Love Is Not A Game (But You Should Know the Odds)" I have invented the concept of “Love Dice” to depict various relationship types. Red dice show romantic chemistry on a scale of one to six, and white dice show emotional maturity on a scale of one to six. The Love Dice make it very easy to describe the four key factors that determine the fate of any relationship (his and her romantic chemistry, his and her emotional maturity).

The key is to make an assessment of true romantic chemistry and emotional maturity before getting married. Doing this in advance will assure that you have an exciting and successful relationship.

Copyright 2005, Randy Hurlburt

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