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Casual Articles - Authentic Relationships - 5-Question Exercise to Explore How You Show Up In Relationship
As you build your strategic plan, do you know whether each member of your leadership team demonstrates the ability to communicate effectively? So that you stay on track with your plan, do you consistently implement and use an objective measurement tool to ensure effective communication?Jack and Suzy Welch outlined in their May 8, 2006 BusinessWeek article, How Healthy Is Your Company, three indicators for measuring the health of an organization: Employee Engagement, Customer Satisfaction, and Cash Flow.As to Employee Engagement, they said this, "It goes without saying that no company, small or large, can win over the long run without energized employees who believe in the mission and understand how to achieve it." In regard to the measurement tool, they had this to say, "The most meaningful surveys probe how employees feel about the strategic direction of the company and the quality of their career opportunities."The level of employee engagement determines to what degree everyone within the organization is on the same page. Developing an awareness of the current communication effectiveness will help the leadership team qualify and quantify the opportunity to harness the untapped potential within the workforce.Progress can be enhanced or hindered by the communication skill levels of the leadership team. The depth and height of the opportunity can only be gauged by effectiveness of the measurement tool. Without the skills and tool, how will you know the tru
* honoring my partner's truth, and uniqueness rather than focusing on possessing or fixing or changing him or her
* having the strength and courage to tell the truth especially when I believe it is unspeakable
* being consciously conscious and respectful of both my partner's boundaries and my own
* asking questions for clarification and communicating rather than jumping to assumptions
* having the strength, self-discipline, courage, compassion and commitment to resolve differences as opposed to overtly fighting or being passively aggressive
* focusing on what I appreciate with gratitude, focusing on solutions, not problems
* being conscious of paying attention to my partner and not taking him or her for granted
* being honest, and honoring my beliefs
* living in integrity, nonconformity, and sticking to my values,
* living without spoken or unspoken judgments and creating a real environment of harmony, well-being and trust and where we can both live authentically, and in integrity as ourselves<
Hybrid Adjustable Rate Mortgages offer a lower, fixed interest rate for an introductory period. This period often lasts five years and if you need a short term solution mortgage solution you could save thousands of dollars with a Hybrid loan. Here are several tips to help you decide if mortgage refinancing with a Hybrid Adjustable Rate Mortgage is right for you.Hybrids offer homeowners the benefits of Adjustable Rate Mortgages without the risk of payment shock. If you only plan on keeping your home for a short period of time, say five years for example, it doesn’t make sense to refinance with a 30 year mortgage. Because 30 year mortgages are front loaded with interest you will pay a large portion during the first five years unnecessarily; this is where a hybrid could help you.The introductory period of a Hybrid Adjustable Rate Mortgage lasts long enough that you would benefit from the lower interest rate before the lender starts adjusting the loan. Just make sure your mortgage does not include a prepayment penalty when you are ready to sell or refinance. If you have good credit you should have no trouble negotiating to have any prepayment penalty removed.Because you will only keep the mortgage for the duration of the introductory period, there are no risks that normally accompany Adjustable Rate Mortgages. By carefully avoiding Yield Spread Premium you will qualify for a significantly lower mortgage rate and save yourself thousands of dollars. You can learn more about avoiding Yield S
My purpose here is to offer you some thoughts and ideas about authenticity and take you through some exercises that will support you to explore your own relation to, and experience of, authenticity and what it means to be authentic in relationship.
What I'm offering is simply what has worked for me and my clients. So there's no given that what I'm working with must work for you. In fact, if there's something that resonates with you, perhaps take it away with you for further exploration and leave behind anything that does not resonate with you.
For this experience, you'll need some paper, a writing instrument (or computer),your mind, heart, soul and your breath.
First, set your intention to be present for this exercise, fully, and let go of your day. Perhaps visualize a balloon and place your cares, concerns, problems, challenges in your balloon and when you're ready just allow your balloon to float up and away, leaving you free to be present in mind, body and spirit.
Sense your feet on the floor and notice your breathing. Then, take a few deep, deep breaths into your belly and make the sound AAH on the exhale. AAH is a primal sound that brings, relaxation, pleasure and letting go. This sound opens the heart, the lungs and helps to melt tension while contributing to an overall sense of well-being. So, take another deep breath or two, exhaling with AAH. Now, let's begin.
Since coaching, for me, is all about asking powerful and provocative questions. This exercise explores five questions around authenticity in relationship:
1. What is authenticity and what does authenticity mean to you?
2. What are you do-ing and how you are you be-ing when you're authentic?
3. What obstacles get in the way of your being authentic (e.g., beliefs, self-images, attitudes, emotions, etc.)?
4. On an authenticity scale (1-10), where would you say you are, generally, and where would you like to be in six months?
5. And what first step might you take to begin moving in that direction?
So, our first question:
What is authenticity and what does authenticity mean to you?
Take a minute and write down all the words and phrases that come to you when you think of the word authenticity. What comes up for you? Take a breath and go inside. Sense and feel your body as you do this part of the exercise.
So, what was that experience like for you? Was it completely mental? Were you aware of your body - feelings and sensations? Were you relaxed? Did you experience any discomfort? How is your breath? Is it deep and relaxed or shallow and tight? Did you notice any negative self-talk from your Inner Judge and Critic? If so, are these familiar judgments?
It might support you to be curious about what you noticed about yourself, especially if you experienced any discomfort or negative self-judgments. This can be food for further exploration about your relationship to authenticity.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines authentic as: something real and true, as the quality of being real or true:
The Mirriam Webster Dictionary defines authentic as conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features; as not false or imitation and as being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character and implies actual character not counterfeited, imitated, or adulterated; it also connotes definite origin from a source.
So, the operative words, for me, are essential source and spirit and character. That is, being authentic relates to the pure and innate qualities of the person I was when I was born, my true and real self, my essence, not an idea that I created and continually create with my ego mind.
So, it might be curious to explore how this loving, precious, pure and authentic child has morphed into adulthood and be curious about how we show up authentically in adulthood.
So, let's continue with our second question:
When in a dating situation, what are you "do-ing" and how are you "be-ing" when you're authentic?
What behaviors reflect your authenticity? Perhaps reflect on your words, your actions, your thoughts, your emotions and your feelings. How do these support your authenticity?
Take a minute and write down some of the ways you express your authenticity.
Here are some examples of do-ings and be-ings clients have come up with which express being authentic:
* consciously choosing to be with my partner exactly as he or she is, on the positivity rather than on obsessing on reasons why it can't work
* supporting my partner in his or her choices, desires and dreams and consciously supporting one another to grow and evolve as both individuals and as a "we"
* honoring my partner's truth, and uniqueness rather than focusing on possessing or fixing or changing him or her
* having the strength and courage to tell the truth especially when I believe it is unspeakable
* being consciously conscious and respectful of both my partner's boundaries and my own
* asking questions for clarification and communicating rather than jumping to assumptions
* having the strength, self-discipline, courage, compassion and commitment to resolve differences as opposed to overtly fighting or being passively aggressive
* focusing on what I appreciate with gratitude, focusing on solutions, not problems
* being conscious of paying attention to my partner and not taking him or her for granted
* being honest, and honoring my beliefs
* living in integrity, nonconformity, and sticking to my values,
* living without spoken or unspoken judgments and creating a real environment of harmony, well-being and trust and where we can both live authentically, and in integrity as ourselves What Should Your Story's Setting Be?
Setting has become a very important part of most novels. You need to take your reader there, even if you are using a fictional one. Done right, your location can create mood, atmosphere and even help determined plot. If nothing else, exploring your novel's location will add color and richness to your story. Without it, your book may lose an important feature - the visual one.Real or Pretend?You might be wondering if you should use a real location or just make one up. It is really up to you. How familiar are you with the location you have in mind? Can you bring it to life for your reader? Just because you live there does not mean you do not have to do research.A word of warning though. If your setting is your own small hometown most people will assume the characters in your book are based on real-life people, even if they are not. Depending on the kind of story you write, you may find yourself fielding questions from your readers as well as your friends.Creating a fictional location has many advantages for the writer. You get to name the town, streets, businesses, schools, etc. Everything inside your town is under your control. You will still need to do some research, but you get to plan how the town and its surrounding areas look. You can make your setting anything you wish.Researching your locationIf you have chosen to write about a real place you will need to research the location. While reading about a place is nice, visiting it in person is preferred. Go
Sense your feet on the floor and notice your breathing. Then, take a few deep, deep breaths into your belly and make the sound AAH on the exhale. AAH is a primal sound that brings, relaxation, pleasure and letting go. This sound opens the heart, the lungs and helps to melt tension while contributing to an overall sense of well-being. So, take another deep breath or two, exhaling with AAH. Now, let's begin.
Since coaching, for me, is all about asking powerful and provocative questions. This exercise explores five questions around authenticity in relationship:
1. What is authenticity and what does authenticity mean to you?
2. What are you do-ing and how you are you be-ing when you're authentic?
3. What obstacles get in the way of your being authentic (e.g., beliefs, self-images, attitudes, emotions, etc.)?
4. On an authenticity scale (1-10), where would you say you are, generally, and where would you like to be in six months?
5. And what first step might you take to begin moving in that direction?
So, our first question:
What is authenticity and what does authenticity mean to you?
Take a minute and write down all the words and phrases that come to you when you think of the word authenticity. What comes up for you? Take a breath and go inside. Sense and feel your body as you do this part of the exercise.
So, what was that experience like for you? Was it completely mental? Were you aware of your body - feelings and sensations? Were you relaxed? Did you experience any discomfort? How is your breath? Is it deep and relaxed or shallow and tight? Did you notice any negative self-talk from your Inner Judge and Critic? If so, are these familiar judgments?
It might support you to be curious about what you noticed about yourself, especially if you experienced any discomfort or negative self-judgments. This can be food for further exploration about your relationship to authenticity.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines authentic as: something real and true, as the quality of being real or true:
The Mirriam Webster Dictionary defines authentic as conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features; as not false or imitation and as being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character and implies actual character not counterfeited, imitated, or adulterated; it also connotes definite origin from a source.
So, the operative words, for me, are essential source and spirit and character. That is, being authentic relates to the pure and innate qualities of the person I was when I was born, my true and real self, my essence, not an idea that I created and continually create with my ego mind.
So, it might be curious to explore how this loving, precious, pure and authentic child has morphed into adulthood and be curious about how we show up authentically in adulthood.
So, let's continue with our second question:
When in a dating situation, what are you "do-ing" and how are you "be-ing" when you're authentic?
What behaviors reflect your authenticity? Perhaps reflect on your words, your actions, your thoughts, your emotions and your feelings. How do these support your authenticity?
Take a minute and write down some of the ways you express your authenticity.
Here are some examples of do-ings and be-ings clients have come up with which express being authentic:
* consciously choosing to be with my partner exactly as he or she is, on the positivity rather than on obsessing on reasons why it can't work
* supporting my partner in his or her choices, desires and dreams and consciously supporting one another to grow and evolve as both individuals and as a "we"
* honoring my partner's truth, and uniqueness rather than focusing on possessing or fixing or changing him or her
* having the strength and courage to tell the truth especially when I believe it is unspeakable
* being consciously conscious and respectful of both my partner's boundaries and my own
* asking questions for clarification and communicating rather than jumping to assumptions
* having the strength, self-discipline, courage, compassion and commitment to resolve differences as opposed to overtly fighting or being passively aggressive
* focusing on what I appreciate with gratitude, focusing on solutions, not problems
* being conscious of paying attention to my partner and not taking him or her for granted
* being honest, and honoring my beliefs
* living in integrity, nonconformity, and sticking to my values,
* living without spoken or unspoken judgments and creating a real environment of harmony, well-being and trust and where we can both live authentically, and in integrity as ourselves<
MySpace is the #1 website for online communication, chatting, sharing common interests and hobbies, etc. It can be a potent online marketing tool which can lure tremendous amounts of traffic to your site.For example, join groups or talk to people who have common interests as the product or the service you wish to market. Share photos, videos, write-ups and other marketing material with such people on MySpace. This will allow people and prospects to view, see, and hopefully, discuss, what they are buying.If you can, upload a trial or a full-feature product that works only for a limited time. There is no bigger marketing hook than trying and sampling your product. If it is good, people will prefer to buy it rather than go looking for another product. If they really like it, they may refer your product or service through word-of-mouth referrals to friends, relatives, and colleagues. Encourage them to do so by offering prizes, small redeemable points, gift vouchers, discounts, etc.Ask friends, relatives, colleagues, peers, employees and just about anyone else you know to hop onto your MySpace bandwagon and drop a testimonial or refer a pal or just make a good, positive comment. This might start the snowball effect with more and more joining in just to see what the hoo-ha is all about.Ask satisfied customers to speak to other prospects and customer, create an online forum for them to communicate and share tips with each other. You might find some complaints, but that’s good, because it will
So, what was that experience like for you? Was it completely mental? Were you aware of your body - feelings and sensations? Were you relaxed? Did you experience any discomfort? How is your breath? Is it deep and relaxed or shallow and tight? Did you notice any negative self-talk from your Inner Judge and Critic? If so, are these familiar judgments?
It might support you to be curious about what you noticed about yourself, especially if you experienced any discomfort or negative self-judgments. This can be food for further exploration about your relationship to authenticity.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines authentic as: something real and true, as the quality of being real or true:
The Mirriam Webster Dictionary defines authentic as conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features; as not false or imitation and as being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character and implies actual character not counterfeited, imitated, or adulterated; it also connotes definite origin from a source.
So, the operative words, for me, are essential source and spirit and character. That is, being authentic relates to the pure and innate qualities of the person I was when I was born, my true and real self, my essence, not an idea that I created and continually create with my ego mind.
So, it might be curious to explore how this loving, precious, pure and authentic child has morphed into adulthood and be curious about how we show up authentically in adulthood.
So, let's continue with our second question:
When in a dating situation, what are you "do-ing" and how are you "be-ing" when you're authentic?
What behaviors reflect your authenticity? Perhaps reflect on your words, your actions, your thoughts, your emotions and your feelings. How do these support your authenticity?
Take a minute and write down some of the ways you express your authenticity.
Here are some examples of do-ings and be-ings clients have come up with which express being authentic:
* consciously choosing to be with my partner exactly as he or she is, on the positivity rather than on obsessing on reasons why it can't work
* supporting my partner in his or her choices, desires and dreams and consciously supporting one another to grow and evolve as both individuals and as a "we"
* honoring my partner's truth, and uniqueness rather than focusing on possessing or fixing or changing him or her
* having the strength and courage to tell the truth especially when I believe it is unspeakable
* being consciously conscious and respectful of both my partner's boundaries and my own
* asking questions for clarification and communicating rather than jumping to assumptions
* having the strength, self-discipline, courage, compassion and commitment to resolve differences as opposed to overtly fighting or being passively aggressive
* focusing on what I appreciate with gratitude, focusing on solutions, not problems
* being conscious of paying attention to my partner and not taking him or her for granted
* being honest, and honoring my beliefs
* living in integrity, nonconformity, and sticking to my values,
* living without spoken or unspoken judgments and creating a real environment of harmony, well-being and trust and where we can both live authentically, and in integrity as ourselves<
Many investors see investing in gold as a good long-term investment because it is a stable investment, and appreciation over time has shown gold to be a more viable form of investment than some of the other investments.Since the times of the Persian Empire, Muslims have seen value in buying gold. The fact that there is no restriction under Islamic laws for Muslims to deal and invest in gold has made this as a popular investment instrument among Muslims, especially those living in the Arab world. Besides, the fact that economies and money markets can be very unpredictable and subject to sudden downturns has made many investors turn to buying gold.Investors looking to buy gold as an investment can do so either via the open global gold markets or by purchasing actual gold itself (in material). Buying Gold itself is more common in the Middle Eastern countries, which have gold markets. Investors who are interested in buying gold as an investment, but who do not need to have the physical comfort of the gold's actual presence, can purchase gold on the open market.Investors can buy gold on the global markets either as certificates or gold exchange-traded funds. Buying gold funds is like investing in stocks and shares on any stock exchange and is a very convenient method for an investor to have an investment in gold without actually having the gold p
So, the operative words, for me, are essential source and spirit and character. That is, being authentic relates to the pure and innate qualities of the person I was when I was born, my true and real self, my essence, not an idea that I created and continually create with my ego mind.
So, it might be curious to explore how this loving, precious, pure and authentic child has morphed into adulthood and be curious about how we show up authentically in adulthood.
So, let's continue with our second question:
When in a dating situation, what are you "do-ing" and how are you "be-ing" when you're authentic?
What behaviors reflect your authenticity? Perhaps reflect on your words, your actions, your thoughts, your emotions and your feelings. How do these support your authenticity?
Take a minute and write down some of the ways you express your authenticity.
Here are some examples of do-ings and be-ings clients have come up with which express being authentic:
* consciously choosing to be with my partner exactly as he or she is, on the positivity rather than on obsessing on reasons why it can't work
* supporting my partner in his or her choices, desires and dreams and consciously supporting one another to grow and evolve as both individuals and as a "we"
* honoring my partner's truth, and uniqueness rather than focusing on possessing or fixing or changing him or her
* having the strength and courage to tell the truth especially when I believe it is unspeakable
* being consciously conscious and respectful of both my partner's boundaries and my own
* asking questions for clarification and communicating rather than jumping to assumptions
* having the strength, self-discipline, courage, compassion and commitment to resolve differences as opposed to overtly fighting or being passively aggressive
* focusing on what I appreciate with gratitude, focusing on solutions, not problems
* being conscious of paying attention to my partner and not taking him or her for granted
* being honest, and honoring my beliefs
* living in integrity, nonconformity, and sticking to my values,
* living without spoken or unspoken judgments and creating a real environment of harmony, well-being and trust and where we can both live authentically, and in integrity as ourselves<
For years, the idea of a proper gaming computer has conjured up the image of a hulking desktop system, one that towers over the player and hums with the sound of the fans required to cool its powerful components. Notebook computers were always seen as the “little brothers” of their desktop counterparts: great for general computing, word processing, and web browsing on the go, but nowhere near powerful enough to run the same software as your desktop.Much of this perception has changed in recent years due to the overwhelming advances in micro-computer technology. Notebook computers have grown more and more powerful and advanced even as their size and cost has been reduced. Today, the idea of a true gaming laptop is a feasible one, and plenty of companies have offered their units onto the marketplace as proof of this. While it may not be as convenient as gaming on a dedicated desktop computer, it is now possible to enjoy the latest computer game releases on a portable system.What are some Benefits of Gaming Laptops?Why, you ask, should you bother with notebooks for gaming when desktop systems are so readily available? Gaming laptops do have their decided advantages. Obviously, their reduced size can be a huge plus for gamers. By the time you factor in a computer case, monitor, keyboard and mouse, speakers, printer, and other peripherals, a standard-size desktop computer system can fill up an entire desk or table surface. Laptops today have become so advanced that they can realistically
* honoring my partner's truth, and uniqueness rather than focusing on possessing or fixing or changing him or her
* having the strength and courage to tell the truth especially when I believe it is unspeakable
* being consciously conscious and respectful of both my partner's boundaries and my own
* asking questions for clarification and communicating rather than jumping to assumptions
* having the strength, self-discipline, courage, compassion and commitment to resolve differences as opposed to overtly fighting or being passively aggressive
* focusing on what I appreciate with gratitude, focusing on solutions, not problems
* being conscious of paying attention to my partner and not taking him or her for granted
* being honest, and honoring my beliefs
* living in integrity, nonconformity, and sticking to my values,
* living without spoken or unspoken judgments and creating a real environment of harmony, well-being and trust and where we can both live authentically, and in integrity as ourselves
* expressing hurt and pain and not hide behind anger, judgment and criticism
* not deferring to my partner in a way that makes me uncomfortable or passive aggressive
* being intentional about expressing what I want
* not interacting with a hidden agenda
* staying conscious in my heart as well as my head
* sharing what I think and feel about my immediate experience
* I accept my undeveloped areas as well as my strengths
So, sense into your self. What is your experience right now? What thoughts, feelings or emotions are you aware of? What's going on in your mind, in your heart? What's your body telling you? What's your breathing like?
How is it for you right now to explore this idea of authenticity?
Our next question points to obstacles to being authentic.
So, it's time to explore some of the obstacles that get in the way of your being authentic - obstacles such as your beliefs, your images of who you think you must be, your attitudes, assumptions or beliefs.
Perhaps one way of exploring this question is by asking if there's a noticeable difference between two YOUs...the one who is standing naked at 4:00 am in your bedroom when no one is watching, and the one who walks out the door and into relationship?
So, take a minute and write down any obstacles which you feel prevent you from showing up as the real and true you.
Before I suggest some obstacles, listen to these client statements:
I'm not the same person in relationship as I am when I am alone at 4:00 A.M. I feel I need to wear a mask and put on another personality so I'll make an impression and be accepted and approved by the person I'm with. Because I can't tell the truth or be honest about my feelings and beliefs, I often feel like an imposter.
In order to fit in with a particular group when I'm dating, I feel I compromise my real and true self and lack the courage to speak my mind and make my voice heard.
I often feel I need to change who I am order to be with someone else? I change my thoughts, my language, my views, and my feelings. I feel I have to sell myself out when it comes to my requirements, needs and wants in order to maintain a relationship. In many relationships, I feel I am moving away from being on purpose.
So, the question is, if you are different from your true and real self, what do you think or feel accounts for this difference?
Here are some common obstacles that bring one to compromise their true and real self, their authenticity:
* Allowing others to dictate who I think I should be, for example, my family, friends, society, reality TV, the media, or perhaps just my own ego
* Ego-driven needs for control, recognition and approval, to be "somebody" at the expense of thinking or feeling like I'm a "nobody" in some way-mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, financially, etc.
* Feeling or belief that my feelings and emotions, needs and wants are not worthy or appropriate, and "don't count."
* Fears of losing my bachelorhood, fear of rejection, not being good enough, being hurt, fear of commitment, or divorce later on.
* Fear of telling my truth and of being judged and criticized; fear of sharing my experience in the moment, fear of saying what's up for me, right here and right now.
* Self-image and ideal that says I am perfect in every way.
* Fear that others will reject me if they know who I really am
So, what was this exercise like for you? Was it easy, difficult? Is there anything that piques your curiosity about your self? Did you experience insights or AHAs? What's it like to acknowledge these obstacles? How do they make you feel?
So, change and transformation always begin with awareness, and awareness is the goal of these first few questions.
And now that perhaps we've raised our level of awareness a bit, let's look at our final two questions which are related:
On an authenticity scale of 1-10, where would you say you are right now and where would you like to be in six months?
And, what first step might you take to move in that direction?
Take a few minutes and respond to these two questions.
So, is your action step observable and measurable? What will you be doing, being or having that supports you to move forward toward showing up more authentically? How will you know you have successfully completed this step? How will you be different in a dating context in some way, shape or form?
Do you have a sense of when you'd like to accomplish this step? Are you aware of potential obstacles that might get in the way? And, how can you deal effectively with these obstacles?
So, I hope these questions and exercises have been useful for you in some way as you explore who you
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