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Casual Articles - The Truth About Your Partner's Natural Rhythms - How Power Struggles Can Blow Up Your Relationship
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When Rob is accomplishing tasks throughout his day, he likes to do a whole bunch of tasks, one after the other, nonstop without any breaks. Then stop for the day. I on the other hand, although having an Employee Workstyle, while I am actually working for or with the other person, like to work for a while, take a break, work for a while,
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However, in our society, we have been taught to assume to everyone is alike, or that there is a specific way that everyone needs to go about their day in order to strive and be successful. This can cause a powerstruggle in a relationship in two ways.
1) Each partner will think that the other person has the same rhythm as them, so if they are not doing things the same way as them they are either doing things wrong or intentially trying to resist them.
2) If the partners are trying to copy the other person’s rhythm, it will be not in their highest and best interest. They will not be “productive” or be in a healthy lifestyle for the individual, which leads to powerstruggles anyway.
This article is to bring attention to some of the less well known types of rhythms in a relationship.
Our first is what I will call a task accomplishment rhythm. In our work, we teach individuals and couples something similar called workstyles which are ways how people like to carry out their work or activities such as Guideline people who need a basic guideline or structure 24 hours a day or Employee people who like to go by other peoples rules for a certain portion of the day, then the rest of the time they go by their own rules.
For task accomplishment rhythms, I will use Rob, my Life Partner (who is also the Director/Counsellor for the Life Management Centre/ LMC Relationship Centre and Co-author of Love by Design) and myself as an example.
When Rob is accomplishing tasks throughout his day, he likes to do a whole bunch of tasks, one after the other, nonstop without any breaks. Then stop for the day. I on the other hand, although having an Employee Workstyle, while I am actually working for or with the other person, like to work for a while, take a break, work for a while,
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1) Each partner will think that the other person has the same rhythm as them, so if they are not doing things the same way as them they are either doing things wrong or intentially trying to resist them.
2) If the partners are trying to copy the other person’s rhythm, it will be not in their highest and best interest. They will not be “productive” or be in a healthy lifestyle for the individual, which leads to powerstruggles anyway.
This article is to bring attention to some of the less well known types of rhythms in a relationship.
Our first is what I will call a task accomplishment rhythm. In our work, we teach individuals and couples something similar called workstyles which are ways how people like to carry out their work or activities such as Guideline people who need a basic guideline or structure 24 hours a day or Employee people who like to go by other peoples rules for a certain portion of the day, then the rest of the time they go by their own rules.
For task accomplishment rhythms, I will use Rob, my Life Partner (who is also the Director/Counsellor for the Life Management Centre/ LMC Relationship Centre and Co-author of Love by Design) and myself as an example.
When Rob is accomplishing tasks throughout his day, he likes to do a whole bunch of tasks, one after the other, nonstop without any breaks. Then stop for the day. I on the other hand, although having an Employee Workstyle, while I am actually working for or with the other person, like to work for a while, take a break, work for a while,
When thinking about borrowing money, most people look at loans as the most sensible option. Although it is true that loans are often a good option for borrowing money, they are also inflexible, and if you are someone who wants to pay back your loan early then there can be heavy penalties. However, there are some alternatives to loans if you want to borrow money:OverdraftsOne of the cheapest ways of borrowing money is through the use of an overdraft, especially if you want to borrow money on a short-term basis. Your bank can agree an amount of ex
This article is to bring attention to some of the less well known types of rhythms in a relationship.
Our first is what I will call a task accomplishment rhythm. In our work, we teach individuals and couples something similar called workstyles which are ways how people like to carry out their work or activities such as Guideline people who need a basic guideline or structure 24 hours a day or Employee people who like to go by other peoples rules for a certain portion of the day, then the rest of the time they go by their own rules.
For task accomplishment rhythms, I will use Rob, my Life Partner (who is also the Director/Counsellor for the Life Management Centre/ LMC Relationship Centre and Co-author of Love by Design) and myself as an example.
When Rob is accomplishing tasks throughout his day, he likes to do a whole bunch of tasks, one after the other, nonstop without any breaks. Then stop for the day. I on the other hand, although having an Employee Workstyle, while I am actually working for or with the other person, like to work for a while, take a break, work for a while,
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For task accomplishment rhythms, I will use Rob, my Life Partner (who is also the Director/Counsellor for the Life Management Centre/ LMC Relationship Centre and Co-author of Love by Design) and myself as an example.
When Rob is accomplishing tasks throughout his day, he likes to do a whole bunch of tasks, one after the other, nonstop without any breaks. Then stop for the day. I on the other hand, although having an Employee Workstyle, while I am actually working for or with the other person, like to work for a while, take a break, work for a while,
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When Rob is accomplishing tasks throughout his day, he likes to do a whole bunch of tasks, one after the other, nonstop without any breaks. Then stop for the day. I on the other hand, although having an Employee Workstyle, while I am actually working for or with the other person, like to work for a while, take a break, work for a while, take a break etc. In the beginning of our relationship, there was an unconscious powerstruggle, mostly felt by me because I couldn’t keep up the same momentum as Rob, especially if we had been out shopping or in public, I would have to have rest and recoup before I could charge into the next task at hand. I would get really tired and uncomfortable, and Rob would feel my resistance.
That didn’t last for long though, as soon as I recognized that my rhythm was different than Rob’s, I brought it to his attention. I accepted that my rhythm is different than his and he has incorporated my rhythm into his schedule, so I can rest in peace, and then join him again in our tasks. The good news is that I was just as productive as Rob, as long as I kept true to myself and my rhythm.
Another example of a rhythm is that people have different speech patterns, speed and rhythms. Rob had a couple come in to see him once, were the couple was having a communication problem.
The wife talked a mile a minute; the husband talked very slowly and paused a lot when talking. The wife often cut him off, between pauses, the husband often feeling offended by being interrupted all the time and the wife always felt like they weren’t getting anywhere in their communication. Would you believe the powerstruggle was there simply because they weren’t aware that they had different speaking rhythms? As soon as Rob pointed this out to them, and taught them how to understand, appreciate and not be in nonresistance to their rhythm their communication greatly improved. The wife, especially learned to be aware of the husband’s pause, and that the pause didn’t mean he was finished ta
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