your illusion of real people.

To say, “I love you because you are kind”, that is the ego. Firstly, because kind has both good and bad in it, which you wont see until later. Secondly, because you are assuming that there can be a half person in your life, kind but not unkind. So, we have half information and have an emotional upper. That is not love; it is a happy thought called the honeymoon. Sadly it will not last unless you are prepared to do some process on your ego.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and t

Emotion is energy in motion. It swings between right and wrong, attracted and repelled and it is, at the base of the cone, as far away from love as you can emotionally reach. This emotional consciousness is “I’ve got to” do this and “I have to” do that, really violent and polarized positions.

Most of this comes from taking the moral high ground. We are basically saying, “I blame your actions for how I feel”.

People avoid the confrontation that love brings using blame. This moral high ground, high above the rocky swamps of real life communication, is designed to avoid love. To stay dry, while all else is wet, to keep the ego fully intact, avoid dealing with the issues that created it, and blame (judge) others for causing how a person feels.

“You did this and caused me to feel upset”. This is a righteous heart. This person will be so hard on them self, they will probably have to be single. The more willing you are to say, “I don’t know, or maybe”, the less righteous you are, the less emotional your swings of emotion. As your emotional swings get smaller and smaller, less energy is spent on being right, and more energy is spent on growing and staying in love.

People who use blame throw hand grenades and send barbs at the “enemy” in order to stay hidden. The more the “enemy” reacts to their blame, the bigger their sand banks get, and that sand bank is called righteousness. Those right people build big bunkers and only invite friends who agree with them in to the bunker. If you are the lover, you are the enemy. Then they go find a seminar or a book and say “I enjoyed that book or seminar” only if it agrees with their position on life. And if it doesn’t agree with them they say “that teacher was too intellectual or I don’t like that way of thinking” really, all they are doing is building bunkers and putting up more sand bags. The sad thing is what they are blocking, is love. Bunkered in, safe, they can’t relax because love lets people in.

The first principle in Natural Law, that there are two sides to everything, including you, your partner and your relationship, there is nothing to change, only something to love. The wisest thing you can do is to say, “What I judge in you I judge in me”. Hold your hand out in front of you, make a fist, and point only one finger at someone, then look and see how many fingers are pointing back at you. This is what self-righteousness causes. You are actually judging yourself, when you blame others.

So, we use challenges to grow love. Every time we get challenged, emotionally negative, we process it, and turn it into love. That way, we stay in the honeymood. We can’t just ignore the negative stuff because it builds up, causes abuse, and makes us resentful. We have to process the negative stuff so it doesn’t block our love. It is like moving sand through the hourglass. In the top is the ego. In the bottom is love. We take the experiences at the top, everyday emotion, and move them to love. The more we process through the hourglass, the bigger our love can be.

Emotion is therefore the language of the ego. Emotion is the most wonderful honesty about how you feel, think and see life. But if you think your emotions are anything but a witnessing of your own “unconsciousness”, you may have a big problem in life. Emotions block love. No relationship, sacred or otherwise, can thrive when a couple considers their emotions a foundation. Those emotions are so changeable. One day the sun is out and you feel good; then the full moon sends you into a tailspin. You can’t base your relationship with someone you love on feelings and emotions. It is a disaster, like a leaf blowing in the wind. The wind (emotions) blow you left, you go left and shut down, they blow you right and you are infatuated and happy. It is like a little child in a candy shop. No love can last in that whirlwind of emotional drama.

This is the choice you have. You can love people but not be prepared to enter a relationship with them. That is a friendship. You can love someone and enter a relationship with them and this means to face the challenges that a relationship brings in order to stay in love. But if you expect to be in a relationship with someone, and not face your ego, not confront your hero’s and be caught in your own judgments, then you are not really wanting love. You are wanting peace, and in relationship, like nature, peace brings disease.

To be in relationship and hold love you need to stay vigilant to your ego. For example, our ego might want to see our partner as only a kind person. Our ego, if we empower it, says this is a good thing. Then we feel pleasure and this causes us to have a happy emotion, the ego is happy, because there is kind without cruel. But is this real, sustainable, true love or is it the ego creating the grounds for a disaster in our relationship? Imbalanced ideas is our emotional projection onto them. That is not a true awareness of them, not love, just our projection. In other words we become blind to the truth, because that is what we want, emotional infatuation is “high pleasure” and this we mistake for love.

We can easily mistake love for an emotional upper, so we project onto them and say, “I love you because I feel pleasured emotion, you are so kind, you are without cruel, so I will let you into my heart. You are like my hero, so you are called “good and lovable”. And you over there, you contradict my hero expectation, (remind me of someone I don’t like in my past who was cruel, so “I lock you out.”

This is where the conflict between emotions and love cause us most pain. Long term relationships cannot be based on this projection of fantasy, or delusions. In reality, all people have two sides. The more a person projects their “goodness” on you, the more they have mastered hiding their “badness” but it will, in the long term, surface. Some people learn how to hide their other side, and therefore get under your half life radar. That is the emotional definition of love. Your radar is looking for half a person, and so you get half, the good half, and long as your illusions are justified, you can love them. But this love is false, it is just not real. No man or woman is half. They present half because your projection won’t let them in if they are real. If they were real with you, you would throw them out, because it would challenge your ideas, your expectation. You get what you want in the short term, the fantasy, but in the long term you get reality, and all your complaining, anger, blame and therapy won’t fix the problem, there is, in fact no problem to fix, just your illusion of real people.

To say, “I love you because you are kind”, that is the ego. Firstly, because kind has both good and bad in it, which you wont see until later. Secondly, because you are assuming that there can be a half person in your life, kind but not unkind. So, we have half information and have an emotional upper. That is not love; it is a happy thought called the honeymoon. Sadly it will not last unless you are prepared to do some process on your ego.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and th

ition on life. And if it doesn’t agree with them they say “that teacher was too intellectual or I don’t like that way of thinking” really, all they are doing is building bunkers and putting up more sand bags. The sad thing is what they are blocking, is love. Bunkered in, safe, they can’t relax because love lets people in.

The first principle in Natural Law, that there are two sides to everything, including you, your partner and your relationship, there is nothing to change, only something to love. The wisest thing you can do is to say, “What I judge in you I judge in me”. Hold your hand out in front of you, make a fist, and point only one finger at someone, then look and see how many fingers are pointing back at you. This is what self-righteousness causes. You are actually judging yourself, when you blame others.

So, we use challenges to grow love. Every time we get challenged, emotionally negative, we process it, and turn it into love. That way, we stay in the honeymood. We can’t just ignore the negative stuff because it builds up, causes abuse, and makes us resentful. We have to process the negative stuff so it doesn’t block our love. It is like moving sand through the hourglass. In the top is the ego. In the bottom is love. We take the experiences at the top, everyday emotion, and move them to love. The more we process through the hourglass, the bigger our love can be.

Emotion is therefore the language of the ego. Emotion is the most wonderful honesty about how you feel, think and see life. But if you think your emotions are anything but a witnessing of your own “unconsciousness”, you may have a big problem in life. Emotions block love. No relationship, sacred or otherwise, can thrive when a couple considers their emotions a foundation. Those emotions are so changeable. One day the sun is out and you feel good; then the full moon sends you into a tailspin. You can’t base your relationship with someone you love on feelings and emotions. It is a disaster, like a leaf blowing in the wind. The wind (emotions) blow you left, you go left and shut down, they blow you right and you are infatuated and happy. It is like a little child in a candy shop. No love can last in that whirlwind of emotional drama.

This is the choice you have. You can love people but not be prepared to enter a relationship with them. That is a friendship. You can love someone and enter a relationship with them and this means to face the challenges that a relationship brings in order to stay in love. But if you expect to be in a relationship with someone, and not face your ego, not confront your hero’s and be caught in your own judgments, then you are not really wanting love. You are wanting peace, and in relationship, like nature, peace brings disease.

To be in relationship and hold love you need to stay vigilant to your ego. For example, our ego might want to see our partner as only a kind person. Our ego, if we empower it, says this is a good thing. Then we feel pleasure and this causes us to have a happy emotion, the ego is happy, because there is kind without cruel. But is this real, sustainable, true love or is it the ego creating the grounds for a disaster in our relationship? Imbalanced ideas is our emotional projection onto them. That is not a true awareness of them, not love, just our projection. In other words we become blind to the truth, because that is what we want, emotional infatuation is “high pleasure” and this we mistake for love.

We can easily mistake love for an emotional upper, so we project onto them and say, “I love you because I feel pleasured emotion, you are so kind, you are without cruel, so I will let you into my heart. You are like my hero, so you are called “good and lovable”. And you over there, you contradict my hero expectation, (remind me of someone I don’t like in my past who was cruel, so “I lock you out.”

This is where the conflict between emotions and love cause us most pain. Long term relationships cannot be based on this projection of fantasy, or delusions. In reality, all people have two sides. The more a person projects their “goodness” on you, the more they have mastered hiding their “badness” but it will, in the long term, surface. Some people learn how to hide their other side, and therefore get under your half life radar. That is the emotional definition of love. Your radar is looking for half a person, and so you get half, the good half, and long as your illusions are justified, you can love them. But this love is false, it is just not real. No man or woman is half. They present half because your projection won’t let them in if they are real. If they were real with you, you would throw them out, because it would challenge your ideas, your expectation. You get what you want in the short term, the fantasy, but in the long term you get reality, and all your complaining, anger, blame and therapy won’t fix the problem, there is, in fact no problem to fix, just your illusion of real people.

To say, “I love you because you are kind”, that is the ego. Firstly, because kind has both good and bad in it, which you wont see until later. Secondly, because you are assuming that there can be a half person in your life, kind but not unkind. So, we have half information and have an emotional upper. That is not love; it is a happy thought called the honeymoon. Sadly it will not last unless you are prepared to do some process on your ego.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and t

tions block love. No relationship, sacred or otherwise, can thrive when a couple considers their emotions a foundation. Those emotions are so changeable. One day the sun is out and you feel good; then the full moon sends you into a tailspin. You can’t base your relationship with someone you love on feelings and emotions. It is a disaster, like a leaf blowing in the wind. The wind (emotions) blow you left, you go left and shut down, they blow you right and you are infatuated and happy. It is like a little child in a candy shop. No love can last in that whirlwind of emotional drama.

This is the choice you have. You can love people but not be prepared to enter a relationship with them. That is a friendship. You can love someone and enter a relationship with them and this means to face the challenges that a relationship brings in order to stay in love. But if you expect to be in a relationship with someone, and not face your ego, not confront your hero’s and be caught in your own judgments, then you are not really wanting love. You are wanting peace, and in relationship, like nature, peace brings disease.

To be in relationship and hold love you need to stay vigilant to your ego. For example, our ego might want to see our partner as only a kind person. Our ego, if we empower it, says this is a good thing. Then we feel pleasure and this causes us to have a happy emotion, the ego is happy, because there is kind without cruel. But is this real, sustainable, true love or is it the ego creating the grounds for a disaster in our relationship? Imbalanced ideas is our emotional projection onto them. That is not a true awareness of them, not love, just our projection. In other words we become blind to the truth, because that is what we want, emotional infatuation is “high pleasure” and this we mistake for love.

We can easily mistake love for an emotional upper, so we project onto them and say, “I love you because I feel pleasured emotion, you are so kind, you are without cruel, so I will let you into my heart. You are like my hero, so you are called “good and lovable”. And you over there, you contradict my hero expectation, (remind me of someone I don’t like in my past who was cruel, so “I lock you out.”

This is where the conflict between emotions and love cause us most pain. Long term relationships cannot be based on this projection of fantasy, or delusions. In reality, all people have two sides. The more a person projects their “goodness” on you, the more they have mastered hiding their “badness” but it will, in the long term, surface. Some people learn how to hide their other side, and therefore get under your half life radar. That is the emotional definition of love. Your radar is looking for half a person, and so you get half, the good half, and long as your illusions are justified, you can love them. But this love is false, it is just not real. No man or woman is half. They present half because your projection won’t let them in if they are real. If they were real with you, you would throw them out, because it would challenge your ideas, your expectation. You get what you want in the short term, the fantasy, but in the long term you get reality, and all your complaining, anger, blame and therapy won’t fix the problem, there is, in fact no problem to fix, just your illusion of real people.

To say, “I love you because you are kind”, that is the ego. Firstly, because kind has both good and bad in it, which you wont see until later. Secondly, because you are assuming that there can be a half person in your life, kind but not unkind. So, we have half information and have an emotional upper. That is not love; it is a happy thought called the honeymoon. Sadly it will not last unless you are prepared to do some process on your ego.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and t

t love, just our projection. In other words we become blind to the truth, because that is what we want, emotional infatuation is “high pleasure” and this we mistake for love.

We can easily mistake love for an emotional upper, so we project onto them and say, “I love you because I feel pleasured emotion, you are so kind, you are without cruel, so I will let you into my heart. You are like my hero, so you are called “good and lovable”. And you over there, you contradict my hero expectation, (remind me of someone I don’t like in my past who was cruel, so “I lock you out.”

This is where the conflict between emotions and love cause us most pain. Long term relationships cannot be based on this projection of fantasy, or delusions. In reality, all people have two sides. The more a person projects their “goodness” on you, the more they have mastered hiding their “badness” but it will, in the long term, surface. Some people learn how to hide their other side, and therefore get under your half life radar. That is the emotional definition of love. Your radar is looking for half a person, and so you get half, the good half, and long as your illusions are justified, you can love them. But this love is false, it is just not real. No man or woman is half. They present half because your projection won’t let them in if they are real. If they were real with you, you would throw them out, because it would challenge your ideas, your expectation. You get what you want in the short term, the fantasy, but in the long term you get reality, and all your complaining, anger, blame and therapy won’t fix the problem, there is, in fact no problem to fix, just your illusion of real people.

To say, “I love you because you are kind”, that is the ego. Firstly, because kind has both good and bad in it, which you wont see until later. Secondly, because you are assuming that there can be a half person in your life, kind but not unkind. So, we have half information and have an emotional upper. That is not love; it is a happy thought called the honeymoon. Sadly it will not last unless you are prepared to do some process on your ego.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and t

your illusion of real people.

To say, “I love you because you are kind”, that is the ego. Firstly, because kind has both good and bad in it, which you wont see until later. Secondly, because you are assuming that there can be a half person in your life, kind but not unkind. So, we have half information and have an emotional upper. That is not love; it is a happy thought called the honeymoon. Sadly it will not last unless you are prepared to do some process on your ego.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and the emotions fall away. That ego which drives us in city life is just no use here, and we get a sense of spirit, our second wind.

Similarly, in a relationship we start by committing to climb this magnificent journey together. We jump in, full of tingles and bubbles, phone calls and emails, poems and flowers. Then we begin to close down. Emotions become more challenging than we thought, so we fight with our ego to change things, everything. Maybe after that, through all the emotional uppers and downers (often peaks at 7 years) we can get back to real love. Our second wind in relationships, and walk together up the hill. That’s a little disappointing, because we have the idea that there will be no challenge.

For everything in life there is a cost. If we aren’t willing to grow in relationship, to remain a child, then we are going to end up running around having affairs or living a loveless life. The ego fights, but we need to say “I love you” and “Even though this is not comfortable right now, I can grow through this challenge” This is a sacred relationship. You don’t run, you grow and take the bull by the horns. Even if they leave, you never stop loving them as a person.

It doesn’t have to take 7 years or 7 minutes. If you are ready to grow through emotions, you are ready to love.