is not very fulfilling. Or they might have been a very successful insurance salesman, but the thought of selling insurance for another 20 years sounds more like torture than a career.

Loss of Parents

If we have not achieved our dreams by now we start to wonder why. If they are fulfilled we tend to look at what values we might have neglected in their pursuit and ask whether it was really worth it. Either way, we need reassurance now that we actually behaved correctly. This period of re-assessment includ

This stage in our life tends to be a highly productive but quite turbulent time for resolving the key issues which matter to us, like immortality vs. mortality, or nurturing vs. aggression. It is a time to re-examine realities while coping with the ongoing struggle to define and accept one’s true self. Even at this stage, there is still questioning of the dream, whether or not it was achieved, but with an increasingly mature sense of what is really important. There is a final recognition and acknowledgment of one’s own negative and positive impact on relationships, perhaps with the intention of re-routing one’s journey for deeper, more authentic connections.

There is also an active disengagement from group norms and/or cultural pressures in order to re-evaluate and restructure personal priorities. It is as if, without the need to impress anymore, this period gives a license to ignore the demands of others and to behave differently according to our own needs and aspirations. Professionals who have successfully reached this staging post tend to become counselor types to colleagues, ready to take on responsibility for developing others in their organization, which in turn benefits their own growth. Counselors at this stage often chair committees or take on leadership roles in professional associations.

A consistent pattern of early adult life is a struggle to achieve a measure of success followed by a mid-life appraisal of one’s values and personal philosophy. This staging post is a time when the individual sets an agenda for the second half of his/her life – a transition which involves intense introspection. There are no gray areas in this part of your life. You are now either proud of who you are and what you have accomplished, or you are deeply frustrated and full of regret. Hence the high number of gloomy people around at this age! Many people find that what they thought was going to make them happy isn’t really doing the job. They might have enjoyed university and the first few years of accounting, but the thought of being an accountant until they die is not very fulfilling. Or they might have been a very successful insurance salesman, but the thought of selling insurance for another 20 years sounds more like torture than a career.

Loss of Parents

If we have not achieved our dreams by now we start to wonder why. If they are fulfilled we tend to look at what values we might have neglected in their pursuit and ask whether it was really worth it. Either way, we need reassurance now that we actually behaved correctly. This period of re-assessment include

tive and positive impact on relationships, perhaps with the intention of re-routing one’s journey for deeper, more authentic connections.

There is also an active disengagement from group norms and/or cultural pressures in order to re-evaluate and restructure personal priorities. It is as if, without the need to impress anymore, this period gives a license to ignore the demands of others and to behave differently according to our own needs and aspirations. Professionals who have successfully reached this staging post tend to become counselor types to colleagues, ready to take on responsibility for developing others in their organization, which in turn benefits their own growth. Counselors at this stage often chair committees or take on leadership roles in professional associations.

A consistent pattern of early adult life is a struggle to achieve a measure of success followed by a mid-life appraisal of one’s values and personal philosophy. This staging post is a time when the individual sets an agenda for the second half of his/her life – a transition which involves intense introspection. There are no gray areas in this part of your life. You are now either proud of who you are and what you have accomplished, or you are deeply frustrated and full of regret. Hence the high number of gloomy people around at this age! Many people find that what they thought was going to make them happy isn’t really doing the job. They might have enjoyed university and the first few years of accounting, but the thought of being an accountant until they die is not very fulfilling. Or they might have been a very successful insurance salesman, but the thought of selling insurance for another 20 years sounds more like torture than a career.

Loss of Parents

If we have not achieved our dreams by now we start to wonder why. If they are fulfilled we tend to look at what values we might have neglected in their pursuit and ask whether it was really worth it. Either way, we need reassurance now that we actually behaved correctly. This period of re-assessment includ

post tend to become counselor types to colleagues, ready to take on responsibility for developing others in their organization, which in turn benefits their own growth. Counselors at this stage often chair committees or take on leadership roles in professional associations.

A consistent pattern of early adult life is a struggle to achieve a measure of success followed by a mid-life appraisal of one’s values and personal philosophy. This staging post is a time when the individual sets an agenda for the second half of his/her life – a transition which involves intense introspection. There are no gray areas in this part of your life. You are now either proud of who you are and what you have accomplished, or you are deeply frustrated and full of regret. Hence the high number of gloomy people around at this age! Many people find that what they thought was going to make them happy isn’t really doing the job. They might have enjoyed university and the first few years of accounting, but the thought of being an accountant until they die is not very fulfilling. Or they might have been a very successful insurance salesman, but the thought of selling insurance for another 20 years sounds more like torture than a career.

Loss of Parents

If we have not achieved our dreams by now we start to wonder why. If they are fulfilled we tend to look at what values we might have neglected in their pursuit and ask whether it was really worth it. Either way, we need reassurance now that we actually behaved correctly. This period of re-assessment includ

his/her life – a transition which involves intense introspection. There are no gray areas in this part of your life. You are now either proud of who you are and what you have accomplished, or you are deeply frustrated and full of regret. Hence the high number of gloomy people around at this age! Many people find that what they thought was going to make them happy isn’t really doing the job. They might have enjoyed university and the first few years of accounting, but the thought of being an accountant until they die is not very fulfilling. Or they might have been a very successful insurance salesman, but the thought of selling insurance for another 20 years sounds more like torture than a career.

Loss of Parents

If we have not achieved our dreams by now we start to wonder why. If they are fulfilled we tend to look at what values we might have neglected in their pursuit and ask whether it was really worth it. Either way, we need reassurance now that we actually behaved correctly. This period of re-assessment includ

is not very fulfilling. Or they might have been a very successful insurance salesman, but the thought of selling insurance for another 20 years sounds more like torture than a career.

Loss of Parents

If we have not achieved our dreams by now we start to wonder why. If they are fulfilled we tend to look at what values we might have neglected in their pursuit and ask whether it was really worth it. Either way, we need reassurance now that we actually behaved correctly. This period of re-assessment includes recognition of the ongoing conflict between immortality and mortality. Being young heightens our sense of indestructibility; we have a sense of being ‘invincible’ and destined for immortality, being shielded from a sense of our own mortality up to the age of 40. In mid-life though, we become increasingly aware of death. We would have seen many people, not much older than ourselves, succumb to cancer and heart attacks as well as death in our own families.

The death of a parent is also a clear signal that we are now on our own and next on the list! A sobering thought, which reminds us of how short life really is. People going through this transition not only face a crisis of mortality, they also face a crisis of growing old. I lost both my parents not long ago within 18 months of each other and I felt simply bereft after having them there throughout my life, always dependable and supportive in the background. My first Christmas back in Jamaica after their deaths was a strange mixture of being alone, yet responsible for my younger sisters in a way I hadn’t felt before. However, the overriding feeling since their deaths has been one of liberation out of their overarching shadow, but also of fear: that I, or my older sister, would be next for the Grim Reaper, and it has been an uncomfortable and disturbing thought ever since.