in needs and objectives. For example, it is unlikely that someone with criminal tendencies will have a successful relationship with someone who believes in honesty and integrity. There would be too much conflict in reconciling their values. Most peopleNo they don't. We hear a lot of talk and anecdotes about how people who seem so opposite in every way find deep attraction, but something else is always operating between those couples to make the relationship work.

In 1968 I met a Sikh and married, to much opposition, across the racial and cultural divide. No one, least of all his parents who tried everything at the beginning to break us up, expected the marriage to last more than a couple years, at best. We went on for 33 years and when we parted, we still had very strong feelings for each other. At the end, though the love was there to a large extent, our direction and values had changed in what we sought in our lives. And that's the key to any relationship: one's VALUES.

No matter what is happening superficially, differences with looks, beauty, personality, activities etc, people will only connect if their basic values are in tandem. Real opposites represent conflict from the beginning because there would be little alignment in needs and objectives. For example, it is unlikely that someone with criminal tendencies will have a successful relationship with someone who believes in honesty and integrity. There would be too much conflict in reconciling their values. Most people

d, to much opposition, across the racial and cultural divide. No one, least of all his parents who tried everything at the beginning to break us up, expected the marriage to last more than a couple years, at best. We went on for 33 years and when we parted, we still had very strong feelings for each other. At the end, though the love was there to a large extent, our direction and values had changed in what we sought in our lives. And that's the key to any relationship: one's VALUES.

No matter what is happening superficially, differences with looks, beauty, personality, activities etc, people will only connect if their basic values are in tandem. Real opposites represent conflict from the beginning because there would be little alignment in needs and objectives. For example, it is unlikely that someone with criminal tendencies will have a successful relationship with someone who believes in honesty and integrity. There would be too much conflict in reconciling their values. Most people

ted, we still had very strong feelings for each other. At the end, though the love was there to a large extent, our direction and values had changed in what we sought in our lives. And that's the key to any relationship: one's VALUES.

No matter what is happening superficially, differences with looks, beauty, personality, activities etc, people will only connect if their basic values are in tandem. Real opposites represent conflict from the beginning because there would be little alignment in needs and objectives. For example, it is unlikely that someone with criminal tendencies will have a successful relationship with someone who believes in honesty and integrity. There would be too much conflict in reconciling their values. Most people

what is happening superficially, differences with looks, beauty, personality, activities etc, people will only connect if their basic values are in tandem. Real opposites represent conflict from the beginning because there would be little alignment in needs and objectives. For example, it is unlikely that someone with criminal tendencies will have a successful relationship with someone who believes in honesty and integrity. There would be too much conflict in reconciling their values. Most people in needs and objectives. For example, it is unlikely that someone with criminal tendencies will have a successful relationship with someone who believes in honesty and integrity. There would be too much conflict in reconciling their values. Most people who appear 'different' or 'opposite' actually share a similar way of looking at life, at the things they cherish and what they value. They just project that perspective in different ways. In fact, my ex-husband and I complemented each other so much in many ways because we believed in the same things when we met. We were both rebels in our communities; we both loved reggae and Bob Marley and we both had the same outlook on maintaining a home and children. Without realising it then, I also sought a kind of protector, and he wanted someone to protect. Bingo!

Of course, when I began to feel more independent and to value other things in life, like my own creativity and freedom to act in ways I enjoyed, the dynamics began to shift and our values started to differ, especially as he grew more conservative in taste. We, in fact, became opposites in our needs over such a long time and stopped connecting and communicating with each other. We hardly did anything together towards the end and just argue