e and swindle in the last election. We don’t do things like that out in the wild west where a man is a man, not a lying, insidious twerp. I went to Yale too, so that certainly qualifies me to be president. Besides, I’ve got some medals and they count even if I was against the Vietnam War. I still fought in it. Hey! My rich wife says we can give it another go. I’m in this race to win! Please let me run again.

John McCain: I didn’t have humble beginnings like the other candidates other than that I was born in Panama. But spending all those year in a Hanoi prison camp did give me time to reflect on those who actually do h

The humble beginnings of many of our presidents helped to get them elected. John Edwards, the lawyer millionaire, likes that idea. Did you know that his father was a mill worker. I’ve studied some of the candidates and wrote some suggestions to help them in their presidential campaign. Here they are:

John Biden: My family were Pennsylvania coal miners...caugh, caugh...even my mother had black lung disease just from washing dirty clothes. That’s why I was the first member of my family to go to the university.

Hillary Clinton: My father was a shop keeper. He worked so hard to put me through Wellesley College and Yale Law School. He knew I had to go to Yale or I could not be president. They were hard times and I humbly appreciate his sacrifices.

John Edwards: My poor family banged around from place to place until my hard-working father landed a job as mill worker in a textile mill. Because of my father I studied textile technology in college. That and my law degree prepared me for the fabric of public life. Yes, I have a marvelous sense of humor. My sweet mother loved me more than the other kids and she worked her way up to an important position in the United States Postal Service. She should see her sort the mail. I was the first one in my family to attend college. Remember that is very, very important even though I did not attend Yale.

Al Gore: I was born in an itinerant family, constantly shuffling between Washington D.C. and Tennessee. My father worked on a tobacco farm and died of lung cancer from picking tobacco. He taught me to love the sky, the lakes and rivers, the ocean, and fast food. I’m grateful to my hard working father. Note that I won a presidential election but it was stolen from be by the United States Supreme Court which was controlled by a bunch of Bush Republicans. You’ve got to give me another chance! That’s the American way! Don’t forget that you could not be looking that stuff up if it were not for me. I invented the Internet.

Rudy Giuliani: Okay, my parents were not Italian Immigrants but their parents were—so that counts doesn’t it? My parents did not have nine children and eleven great grandchildren as rumored on Long Island. My parents taught me to get up early and not to sleep in until 9:11 A.M. like grandpa did. I loved baseball and I loved to go more than 9 innings. My favorite number was 11.

John Kerry: I’m talking to you from Sun Valley where I’m resting up for another presidential campaign. I was a victim of hate and swindle in the last election. We don’t do things like that out in the wild west where a man is a man, not a lying, insidious twerp. I went to Yale too, so that certainly qualifies me to be president. Besides, I’ve got some medals and they count even if I was against the Vietnam War. I still fought in it. Hey! My rich wife says we can give it another go. I’m in this race to win! Please let me run again.

John McCain: I didn’t have humble beginnings like the other candidates other than that I was born in Panama. But spending all those year in a Hanoi prison camp did give me time to reflect on those who actually do ha

le Law School. He knew I had to go to Yale or I could not be president. They were hard times and I humbly appreciate his sacrifices.

John Edwards: My poor family banged around from place to place until my hard-working father landed a job as mill worker in a textile mill. Because of my father I studied textile technology in college. That and my law degree prepared me for the fabric of public life. Yes, I have a marvelous sense of humor. My sweet mother loved me more than the other kids and she worked her way up to an important position in the United States Postal Service. She should see her sort the mail. I was the first one in my family to attend college. Remember that is very, very important even though I did not attend Yale.

Al Gore: I was born in an itinerant family, constantly shuffling between Washington D.C. and Tennessee. My father worked on a tobacco farm and died of lung cancer from picking tobacco. He taught me to love the sky, the lakes and rivers, the ocean, and fast food. I’m grateful to my hard working father. Note that I won a presidential election but it was stolen from be by the United States Supreme Court which was controlled by a bunch of Bush Republicans. You’ve got to give me another chance! That’s the American way! Don’t forget that you could not be looking that stuff up if it were not for me. I invented the Internet.

Rudy Giuliani: Okay, my parents were not Italian Immigrants but their parents were—so that counts doesn’t it? My parents did not have nine children and eleven great grandchildren as rumored on Long Island. My parents taught me to get up early and not to sleep in until 9:11 A.M. like grandpa did. I loved baseball and I loved to go more than 9 innings. My favorite number was 11.

John Kerry: I’m talking to you from Sun Valley where I’m resting up for another presidential campaign. I was a victim of hate and swindle in the last election. We don’t do things like that out in the wild west where a man is a man, not a lying, insidious twerp. I went to Yale too, so that certainly qualifies me to be president. Besides, I’ve got some medals and they count even if I was against the Vietnam War. I still fought in it. Hey! My rich wife says we can give it another go. I’m in this race to win! Please let me run again.

John McCain: I didn’t have humble beginnings like the other candidates other than that I was born in Panama. But spending all those year in a Hanoi prison camp did give me time to reflect on those who actually do h

t one in my family to attend college. Remember that is very, very important even though I did not attend Yale.

Al Gore: I was born in an itinerant family, constantly shuffling between Washington D.C. and Tennessee. My father worked on a tobacco farm and died of lung cancer from picking tobacco. He taught me to love the sky, the lakes and rivers, the ocean, and fast food. I’m grateful to my hard working father. Note that I won a presidential election but it was stolen from be by the United States Supreme Court which was controlled by a bunch of Bush Republicans. You’ve got to give me another chance! That’s the American way! Don’t forget that you could not be looking that stuff up if it were not for me. I invented the Internet.

Rudy Giuliani: Okay, my parents were not Italian Immigrants but their parents were—so that counts doesn’t it? My parents did not have nine children and eleven great grandchildren as rumored on Long Island. My parents taught me to get up early and not to sleep in until 9:11 A.M. like grandpa did. I loved baseball and I loved to go more than 9 innings. My favorite number was 11.

John Kerry: I’m talking to you from Sun Valley where I’m resting up for another presidential campaign. I was a victim of hate and swindle in the last election. We don’t do things like that out in the wild west where a man is a man, not a lying, insidious twerp. I went to Yale too, so that certainly qualifies me to be president. Besides, I’ve got some medals and they count even if I was against the Vietnam War. I still fought in it. Hey! My rich wife says we can give it another go. I’m in this race to win! Please let me run again.

John McCain: I didn’t have humble beginnings like the other candidates other than that I was born in Panama. But spending all those year in a Hanoi prison camp did give me time to reflect on those who actually do h

way! Don’t forget that you could not be looking that stuff up if it were not for me. I invented the Internet.

Rudy Giuliani: Okay, my parents were not Italian Immigrants but their parents were—so that counts doesn’t it? My parents did not have nine children and eleven great grandchildren as rumored on Long Island. My parents taught me to get up early and not to sleep in until 9:11 A.M. like grandpa did. I loved baseball and I loved to go more than 9 innings. My favorite number was 11.

John Kerry: I’m talking to you from Sun Valley where I’m resting up for another presidential campaign. I was a victim of hate and swindle in the last election. We don’t do things like that out in the wild west where a man is a man, not a lying, insidious twerp. I went to Yale too, so that certainly qualifies me to be president. Besides, I’ve got some medals and they count even if I was against the Vietnam War. I still fought in it. Hey! My rich wife says we can give it another go. I’m in this race to win! Please let me run again.

John McCain: I didn’t have humble beginnings like the other candidates other than that I was born in Panama. But spending all those year in a Hanoi prison camp did give me time to reflect on those who actually do h

e and swindle in the last election. We don’t do things like that out in the wild west where a man is a man, not a lying, insidious twerp. I went to Yale too, so that certainly qualifies me to be president. Besides, I’ve got some medals and they count even if I was against the Vietnam War. I still fought in it. Hey! My rich wife says we can give it another go. I’m in this race to win! Please let me run again.

John McCain: I didn’t have humble beginnings like the other candidates other than that I was born in Panama. But spending all those year in a Hanoi prison camp did give me time to reflect on those who actually do have humble beginnings and are still struggling to succeed.

Barack Obama: I was born in Hawaii. My father was pitch black and my mother was starch white. But in Hawaii, that was common enough. I am a victim of a split family. When Daddy went back to Kenya and Mama went off to Jakarta I was raised by Grandma. Although my beginnings were not humble I gained a great respect for the poor and did everything I could to help them pull themselves up by their boot straps by providing job training. No, my smile is not glued on.

Reference: http://www.reference.com/

Wait! I forgot Mike Gravel of Alaska, Representative Dennis Kucinich of Ohio, and Governor Tom Vilsack of Iowa.

Mike Gravel: I collected papers from the Pentagon and stopped the draft from continuing during the Vietnam war. Yes, they had to let the draft law expire because of me. It’s boring as hell during the winter here in Alaska. We haven’t seen the sun since August. Moving back to Washington D.C. looks good right now. So vote for me and get me the hell out of here!

Dennis Kucinich: My father was born in Croatia and I was born in Cleveland. You can’t beat that for humility. Ha! Ha! Mother had seven kids. I was the only one that didn’t live. Ha! Ha! My father drove a semi. Could your father do that, backing up and everything? Ha! Ha!, I’m married for the third time. God I’m sad! Ha! Ha!

Tom Vilsack: I’m the only orphan among the candidates and was rescued from a Catholic orphanage in Pittsburgh by my adopted parents. I didn’t go to Yale or Harvard. I got my law degree in Albany. So you see, I’m the candidate with the very most humble beginnings.

Well, that should do it!

copyright©2007 John Taylor Jones, Ph.D.