things you are tolerating without playing the blame game. For example, if you're annoyed that your kids never pick their towels up it is obviously their action - but it's your re-action that is the toleration.

You may end up with a list that's hundreds of tolerations long - don't be overwhelmed. Just be grateful that you can recognize them.

Once you see

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.

- George Bernard Shaw

I don't know about you, but there are some things in life that just drive me crazy! Some of them are big things (like the amount of bad news on the news) and some of them are little things (like how my kitchen bench just never seems to be cleared of everything!).

When I first did my coach training we learned that these are tolerations - the things we are 'putting up with' that we really don't want to. And we went through a process that I must admit I haven't been through in a while - but the difference it made when I first did it was unbelievable . So I commit to doing the 'toleration dance' this week. I invite you to dance along with me. Here's how it goes...

Start by writing down everything that comes to mind that you feel you are putting up with. Of these tolerations (and any more that come up in the process) split them into three columns.
1. Ones that you can put up with for a bit longer (providing other things are taken care of),
2. ones that you know you need to work on over the short to medium term and
3. ones that have to stop right now or something serious is going to happen

Make sure you take ownership that these are things you are tolerating without playing the blame game. For example, if you're annoyed that your kids never pick their towels up it is obviously their action - but it's your re-action that is the toleration.

You may end up with a list that's hundreds of tolerations long - don't be overwhelmed. Just be grateful that you can recognize them.

Once you see

e crazy! Some of them are big things (like the amount of bad news on the news) and some of them are little things (like how my kitchen bench just never seems to be cleared of everything!).

When I first did my coach training we learned that these are tolerations - the things we are 'putting up with' that we really don't want to. And we went through a process that I must admit I haven't been through in a while - but the difference it made when I first did it was unbelievable . So I commit to doing the 'toleration dance' this week. I invite you to dance along with me. Here's how it goes...

Start by writing down everything that comes to mind that you feel you are putting up with. Of these tolerations (and any more that come up in the process) split them into three columns.
1. Ones that you can put up with for a bit longer (providing other things are taken care of),
2. ones that you know you need to work on over the short to medium term and
3. ones that have to stop right now or something serious is going to happen

Make sure you take ownership that these are things you are tolerating without playing the blame game. For example, if you're annoyed that your kids never pick their towels up it is obviously their action - but it's your re-action that is the toleration.

You may end up with a list that's hundreds of tolerations long - don't be overwhelmed. Just be grateful that you can recognize them.

Once you see

t I must admit I haven't been through in a while - but the difference it made when I first did it was unbelievable . So I commit to doing the 'toleration dance' this week. I invite you to dance along with me. Here's how it goes...

Start by writing down everything that comes to mind that you feel you are putting up with. Of these tolerations (and any more that come up in the process) split them into three columns.
1. Ones that you can put up with for a bit longer (providing other things are taken care of),
2. ones that you know you need to work on over the short to medium term and
3. ones that have to stop right now or something serious is going to happen

Make sure you take ownership that these are things you are tolerating without playing the blame game. For example, if you're annoyed that your kids never pick their towels up it is obviously their action - but it's your re-action that is the toleration.

You may end up with a list that's hundreds of tolerations long - don't be overwhelmed. Just be grateful that you can recognize them.

Once you see

t come up in the process) split them into three columns.
1. Ones that you can put up with for a bit longer (providing other things are taken care of),
2. ones that you know you need to work on over the short to medium term and
3. ones that have to stop right now or something serious is going to happen

Make sure you take ownership that these are things you are tolerating without playing the blame game. For example, if you're annoyed that your kids never pick their towels up it is obviously their action - but it's your re-action that is the toleration.

You may end up with a list that's hundreds of tolerations long - don't be overwhelmed. Just be grateful that you can recognize them.

Once you see

things you are tolerating without playing the blame game. For example, if you're annoyed that your kids never pick their towels up it is obviously their action - but it's your re-action that is the toleration.

You may end up with a list that's hundreds of tolerations long - don't be overwhelmed. Just be grateful that you can recognize them.

Once you see them in writing (which in itself can be an eye-opener) it's time to get creative. Start with the ‘Serious' column and take them one at a time. For each toleration the idea is to come up with a way for you to not be tolerating this anymore.

It may mean open communication with someone (perhaps even yourself). It may mean doing things a different way. It may simply mean looking at things a different way. It may even mean that you decide it's NOT a toleration, but a choice. You may decide it's the price you choose to pay for spending time on a more important project.

One thing to watch out for is the ‘shoulds'. If you hear yourself saying ‘I should do, or it should be' you need to stop and find out what's behind the should - either you choose to or you choose not to - should takes away your power, choosing gives it back.

Another thing to be aware of is judging your solutions too quickly. Don't dismiss an idea immediately just because you think it sounds silly or too hard. Out of that idea another one may come up that makes perfect sense.

This isn't going to happen over night - sometimes you will need to sit with a toleration for a week or more and let your sub-conscience go to work on it. If you've got supportive friends ask for their help in brainstorming ways around the toleration. That can be really effective - and a lot of fun.

Leap 'n' Bound: This is a ‘take action’ article. Don't just sit there and nod and s