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Casual Articles - Criticism Gets You No Where
Do you want to double, or increase significantly you're income in mystery shopping? If yes, I'll be sharing to you an age old concept. Now you might have learned this already or you may consider this common sense. But is a concept that’s worth drilling on for more knowledge or for the sake of repetition, mind you “Repetition is the mother of all skills”.The concept I’m talking about is Time Management. From our early years we always hear t
From here you can work on a solution to strengthen the relationship. Whenever you are on either end of criticism – ask yourself what your highest best self would do. Treat others as you would be treated.
Excerpts from University of Success Lesson 31 – Og Mandino
Ellen Cahill, M.A., Six Advisors Consultant, Alright Isn't All Right in Business Writing
Basic business writing (letters, memos, emails) today is supposed to be informal and conversational. "Write more like you talk" is the advice frequently given by business writing experts. Many of the grammar rules that we learned in school either no longer apply or have been altered to fit the times. American English is based on common usage, which means that even if something is done incorrectly according to the rules, if it's done often enough a
Criticizing others rarely does any good because people are not creatures of logic, they are creatures of emotion. Very rarely will you criticize someone and hear them respond with "Why thank you, I see you are correct and I shall improve immediately."
No, criticism is a dangerous spark that usually brings out every unbalanced Advisor (thoughts in your head) the other person has. When we feel attacked (which is what being told you are wrong feels like), we usually respond in one of two ways, 1) with hurtful emotion or 2) defensive anger. Neither of which is productive in the least.
Can you remember a time when someone criticized you? Do you remember how you REACTED? Did their criticism do any good? Did it inspire you to improve? Probably not, it rarely does. How do you feel about that person today?
As parents, we often stumble and destroy good lessons for our children by criticizing them for their mistakes. In so doing, we create anger and hurt directed at us, instead of letting the natural consequences of the mistake teach the lesson.
Benjamin Franklin said his secret to success was to" speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody." This is a good policy.
Any one can criticize, condemn and complain. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. It is also a much smarter way to live.
Instead of criticizing, try stepping into another person’s world. Ask them questions, find out where they are and how they feel about an issue. Validate them as a human being by caring about what they think and feel. As you question, you may learn things about this person which explains the problem. You may then, have the opportunity to show up for them (not to advise or fix them) but offer to show up for them in a different way.
This approach will lead to more solutions, improvements and change than any amount of criticism ever could.
Now what about when someone criticizes you? You will feel the reaction, as they trigger those Advisors in you, to defend yourself. Don’t do it. Step back.
From a safer perspective, you should be able to see that this person owns this problem (it is about them – not you). See this criticism as a door into their world, instead of as an attack on you. This is a wonderful opportunity to walk through that door into their world and find out what is really going on. Instead of defending yourself, ask them "Tell me why you feel that way?"
Let them get it out. Ask more questions, find out how they feel and where these perceptions of theirs have come from. Make sure that they feel heard and understood. (This does not mean you agree with them – This does not mean you will give them their way) It means that you will validate them as a person with the right to feel the way they do. You will let them feel heard.
From here you can work on a solution to strengthen the relationship. Whenever you are on either end of criticism – ask yourself what your highest best self would do. Treat others as you would be treated.
Excerpts from University of Success Lesson 31 – Og Mandino
Ellen Cahill, M.A., Six Advisors Consultant, How To Write Better Ad-Copy
Nearly 30 years ago, I was a guest panelist at a seminar about “Writing for Profit.” -- All day long,the speakers had told the attendees all about how to submit their written works to editors and publishers ... what to expect in a publisher’s contract ... how to prepare a writer’s proposal ...
primarily focusing on how to “sell” what the attendees had written.At the end of the seminar, a panel of five “successful writers” ... including me ld you are wrong feels like), we usually respond in one of two
ways, 1) with hurtful emotion or 2) defensive anger. Neither of which is
productive in the least.
Can you remember a time when someone criticized you? Do you remember how you REACTED? Did their criticism do any good? Did it inspire you to improve? Probably not, it rarely does. How do you feel about that person today?
As parents, we often stumble and destroy good lessons for our children by criticizing them for their mistakes. In so doing, we create anger and hurt directed at us, instead of letting the natural consequences of the mistake teach the lesson.
Benjamin Franklin said his secret to success was to" speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody." This is a good policy.
Any one can criticize, condemn and complain. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. It is also a much smarter way to live.
Instead of criticizing, try stepping into another person’s world. Ask them questions, find out where they are and how they feel about an issue. Validate them as a human being by caring about what they think and feel. As you question, you may learn things about this person which explains the problem. You may then, have the opportunity to show up for them (not to advise or fix them) but offer to show up for them in a different way.
This approach will lead to more solutions, improvements and change than any amount of criticism ever could.
Now what about when someone criticizes you? You will feel the reaction, as they trigger those Advisors in you, to defend yourself. Don’t do it. Step back.
From a safer perspective, you should be able to see that this person owns this problem (it is about them – not you). See this criticism as a door into their world, instead of as an attack on you. This is a wonderful opportunity to walk through that door into their world and find out what is really going on. Instead of defending yourself, ask them "Tell me why you feel that way?"
Let them get it out. Ask more questions, find out how they feel and where these perceptions of theirs have come from. Make sure that they feel heard and understood. (This does not mean you agree with them – This does not mean you will give them their way) It means that you will validate them as a person with the right to feel the way they do. You will let them feel heard.
From here you can work on a solution to strengthen the relationship. Whenever you are on either end of criticism – ask yourself what your highest best self would do. Treat others as you would be treated.
Excerpts from University of Success Lesson 31 – Og Mandino
Ellen Cahill, M.A., Six Advisors Consultant, Create a Market Position for Your Medical Practice
Carve out a market position to maximize your marketing investmentIn the marketing world, positioning is a relatively new concept. Introduced in 1982 by marketing gurus, Al Ries and Jack Trout, the idea behind positioning is to clearly define what your practice represents to the patient. Through this unique position, a level of mindshare is devoted to your practice. These positioning efforts should clearly communicate what your practice offell of no
man and speak all the good I know of everybody." This is a good policy.
Any one can criticize, condemn and complain. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. It is also a much smarter way to live.
Instead of criticizing, try stepping into another person’s world. Ask them questions, find out where they are and how they feel about an issue. Validate them as a human being by caring about what they think and feel. As you question, you may learn things about this person which explains the problem. You may then, have the opportunity to show up for them (not to advise or fix them) but offer to show up for them in a different way.
This approach will lead to more solutions, improvements and change than any amount of criticism ever could.
Now what about when someone criticizes you? You will feel the reaction, as they trigger those Advisors in you, to defend yourself. Don’t do it. Step back.
From a safer perspective, you should be able to see that this person owns this problem (it is about them – not you). See this criticism as a door into their world, instead of as an attack on you. This is a wonderful opportunity to walk through that door into their world and find out what is really going on. Instead of defending yourself, ask them "Tell me why you feel that way?"
Let them get it out. Ask more questions, find out how they feel and where these perceptions of theirs have come from. Make sure that they feel heard and understood. (This does not mean you agree with them – This does not mean you will give them their way) It means that you will validate them as a person with the right to feel the way they do. You will let them feel heard.
From here you can work on a solution to strengthen the relationship. Whenever you are on either end of criticism – ask yourself what your highest best self would do. Treat others as you would be treated.
Excerpts from University of Success Lesson 31 – Og Mandino
Ellen Cahill, M.A., Six Advisors Consultant, Using Informal and Formal Status Symbols in Your Organization to Advance Your Career
You want to get ahead in life and your career.Formal status symbols in a business setting tend to come with promotion. In other words, you have to earn them. They're badges of rank in the corporate army.Some of the most common ones are:- A reserved parking space next to the building- An office with a window (corner offices and those on top floors best)- Executive dining room privileges- Wet baoach will lead to more solutions, improvements and change than
any amount of criticism ever could.
Now what about when someone criticizes you? You will feel the reaction, as they trigger those Advisors in you, to defend yourself. Don’t do it. Step back.
From a safer perspective, you should be able to see that this person owns this problem (it is about them – not you). See this criticism as a door into their world, instead of as an attack on you. This is a wonderful opportunity to walk through that door into their world and find out what is really going on. Instead of defending yourself, ask them "Tell me why you feel that way?"
Let them get it out. Ask more questions, find out how they feel and where these perceptions of theirs have come from. Make sure that they feel heard and understood. (This does not mean you agree with them – This does not mean you will give them their way) It means that you will validate them as a person with the right to feel the way they do. You will let them feel heard.
From here you can work on a solution to strengthen the relationship. Whenever you are on either end of criticism – ask yourself what your highest best self would do. Treat others as you would be treated.
Excerpts from University of Success Lesson 31 – Og Mandino
Ellen Cahill, M.A., Six Advisors Consultant, Advertisements - Varieties and Forms Reviewed
From the psychological point of view advertisements may be classified according to their general purpose or intention and also according to the particular tasks which they set themselves. Thus we may have the three following types, according to the task attempted:
Classified Advertisement. Takes initial attention, interest, and memory for granted, and merely seeks to direct the response.Publicity Advertisement. Takes for grantedt how they feel and
where these perceptions of theirs have come from. Make sure that they feel
heard and understood. (This does not mean you agree with them – This does
not mean you will give them their way) It means that you will validate them
as a person with the right to feel the way they do. You will let them feel
heard.
From here you can work on a solution to strengthen the relationship. Whenever you are on either end of criticism – ask yourself what your highest best self would do. Treat others as you would be treated.
Excerpts from University of Success Lesson 31 – Og Mandino Ellen Cahill, M.A., Six Advisors Consultant, www.leapsandboundscoaching.com – 215-355-6316 (phone)
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