de but sabotaging the production with your attitude or actions).

As leaders, managers, parents and team members it is important to realize that 1- everyone has a choice, 2- everyone has their own plan, 3- everyone is the director of their own perception of the world.

The clash occurs when you expect everyone to follow your directions/orders/demands and they don't see the ben

You have the perfect plan, you know how it will play out, everyone has a role and the outcome is assured. Then one or all of the people, or the characters in your play, don't follow your script and you don't get what you want in the way you want it.

This occurs all the time in families, offices, business deals, friendships and teams. You, the director, KNOW how it should go if only everyone would do it YOUR way.

People use a variety of tactics to convince others to do things their way. Guilt, rewards, punishments, praise, begging, and so on.

Everything works sometimes, and you convince yourself that you have 'the power' to have people follow your plan and your script, except when your actors don't follow your plan, then the director (you) gets angry, frustrated, stressed, and lonely. Sometimes a director may tell himself that he isn't good enough, that he doesn't don't know what he is doing, that he is a failure. He takes personal responsibility for the outcome by inflicting emotional pain on himself. Other times a director may blame everyone else. She may say that everyone else is the cause of the problem. She had nothing to do with it. She had the perfect plan. Her plan was the best and if only everyone followed her way than there wouldn't be a problem.

Sometimes you may be treated as the actor in someone else's play. If you didn't agree to be a participant you may find yourself feeling resentful, put upon, victimized, threatened, and rebellious. Your behavior may be passive aggressive (smiling on the outside but sabotaging the production with your attitude or actions).

As leaders, managers, parents and team members it is important to realize that 1- everyone has a choice, 2- everyone has their own plan, 3- everyone is the director of their own perception of the world.

The clash occurs when you expect everyone to follow your directions/orders/demands and they don't see the bene

y everyone would do it YOUR way.

People use a variety of tactics to convince others to do things their way. Guilt, rewards, punishments, praise, begging, and so on.

Everything works sometimes, and you convince yourself that you have 'the power' to have people follow your plan and your script, except when your actors don't follow your plan, then the director (you) gets angry, frustrated, stressed, and lonely. Sometimes a director may tell himself that he isn't good enough, that he doesn't don't know what he is doing, that he is a failure. He takes personal responsibility for the outcome by inflicting emotional pain on himself. Other times a director may blame everyone else. She may say that everyone else is the cause of the problem. She had nothing to do with it. She had the perfect plan. Her plan was the best and if only everyone followed her way than there wouldn't be a problem.

Sometimes you may be treated as the actor in someone else's play. If you didn't agree to be a participant you may find yourself feeling resentful, put upon, victimized, threatened, and rebellious. Your behavior may be passive aggressive (smiling on the outside but sabotaging the production with your attitude or actions).

As leaders, managers, parents and team members it is important to realize that 1- everyone has a choice, 2- everyone has their own plan, 3- everyone is the director of their own perception of the world.

The clash occurs when you expect everyone to follow your directions/orders/demands and they don't see the ben

frustrated, stressed, and lonely. Sometimes a director may tell himself that he isn't good enough, that he doesn't don't know what he is doing, that he is a failure. He takes personal responsibility for the outcome by inflicting emotional pain on himself. Other times a director may blame everyone else. She may say that everyone else is the cause of the problem. She had nothing to do with it. She had the perfect plan. Her plan was the best and if only everyone followed her way than there wouldn't be a problem.

Sometimes you may be treated as the actor in someone else's play. If you didn't agree to be a participant you may find yourself feeling resentful, put upon, victimized, threatened, and rebellious. Your behavior may be passive aggressive (smiling on the outside but sabotaging the production with your attitude or actions).

As leaders, managers, parents and team members it is important to realize that 1- everyone has a choice, 2- everyone has their own plan, 3- everyone is the director of their own perception of the world.

The clash occurs when you expect everyone to follow your directions/orders/demands and they don't see the ben

h it. She had the perfect plan. Her plan was the best and if only everyone followed her way than there wouldn't be a problem.

Sometimes you may be treated as the actor in someone else's play. If you didn't agree to be a participant you may find yourself feeling resentful, put upon, victimized, threatened, and rebellious. Your behavior may be passive aggressive (smiling on the outside but sabotaging the production with your attitude or actions).

As leaders, managers, parents and team members it is important to realize that 1- everyone has a choice, 2- everyone has their own plan, 3- everyone is the director of their own perception of the world.

The clash occurs when you expect everyone to follow your directions/orders/demands and they don't see the ben

de but sabotaging the production with your attitude or actions).

As leaders, managers, parents and team members it is important to realize that 1- everyone has a choice, 2- everyone has their own plan, 3- everyone is the director of their own perception of the world.

The clash occurs when you expect everyone to follow your directions/orders/demands and they don't see the benefits or rational behind it or the "what is in it for me" factor.

We humans are self-centered, it is how we are. We have to decide to 'think' of others and not be so engrossed in our selves and our own affairs, easier said then done.

How can we get out of our self-centeredness and be better managers, leaders and parents? This is what this article is all about.

Quotes

"When I get out of 'me' and find 'we' I become more successful"

"The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking one's self seriously. The first is imperative and the second is disastrous".
~Margot Fonteyn

Self-interest is the enemy of all true affection.
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

"It's hard to follow God closely when your eyes are focused on everyone else around you."
~Unknown

"When an organism begins to become self-centered, taking only in regard to its own needs and ignoring those of its neighbor, we call it cancer."
~Ra Bonawitz

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."
~Oscar Wilde

Try-its:

To eradicate ourselves of self centeredness we have to first accept what we are powerless over:

1. Write a list of at least 25 people, places, things and situations that you are powerless over.
2. Review your list
3. Let the people, places, things and situations go. If you belong to a religious group give your list to your God and let him ha